A Bragging Poker Story

Okay, I am not usually one to relate “I won” stories, but this one is too good.

Tonight was poker night, over at Beth’s place in Toledo. A bunch of her friends came, along with the lovely and talented Heather Waterfield. All in all, 10 people playing.

Right away I could tell I was sucking that night. The first game we played, when only five people had arrived, I was out in only two go-arounds of the table. Not good. So, I was resigned to finishing horribly and walking away a beaten man. Then, word came of playing a second game, with all the new arrivals joining in. Oooo-kay…

But, I still sucked. We split the game into two tables and I could not win a hand to save my @$$. But I bet small, folded often, and was still playing when we consolidated to one table of six. (Miss Waterfield was the clear leader, needing HELP from my brother to carry her chips to the next table.) I kept limping along, winning maybe five pots the whole night, until it got down to heads-up between myself and one of Beth’s friends, whose name I am sad to say slips my mind completely. (Sorry! I remember on second meeting, really! Ask her friend Marshall! And Derek!)

My opponent had a 4-to-1 chip lead at least, probably more. After a few middling hands and some friendly taunting, I went for broke and went all-in on a TOTALLY dominated hand - we both had aces, but he had an ace-jack, me an ace-seven. I was screwed, totally - until I hit the seven on the river. I had never been in quite that position before, being so totally dominated and sucking it out on the river, so the loud “YES!” that escaped my mouth was wholly involuntary. I swear.

From there, things began to turn around. I kept winning pots. Another miraculous river card kept my winning streak alive, pairing my king at the last moment. And after about a half hour, he went all in with a pair of 6’s, not knowing I had Aces and eights already on the board. A non-eventful turn and river later, I had won the whole she-bang. And another “YES!” escaped my lips.

It wasn’t until Matt and I were driving home that the irony caught me. I won with Aces and eights - the Dead Man’s Hand - not an hour before Halloween.

Insert Twilight Zone theme here. :)

Wanna be scared for Halloween? Really truly scared?

Read Roger's Movie Answer Man column for this week. Third letter down.

That there are still defenders of McCarthyism over fifty years after that paranoid madman threw around his venom, ruined dozens of innocent lives, and caused nationwide hysteria terrifies me more than any scary movie or haunted house could.

Murrow "did free society no favors" by bringing down McCarthy, the writer says.

Tell me if THAT doesn't make ya shudder.

Ex-HAUST-ed....

A long night at the theatre summed up in a few sentences.

-Went in costume as House. No one recognized who I was for an hour or so. Finally, I meet a manager who says, "Hey, who you supposed to be?" I ask if he's seen House on Fox. He responds, "Oh, yeah, I love that show!...So, who are you supposed to be?" I detect no sarcasm.

-Decide to change out of costume for rest of shift. Wise move. Saw II kills us dead. Busiest weekend in weeks. Legend of Zorro doesn't do a quarter of the house size Saw does every show. Lines in the lobby all night. And everyone who comes into the Director's Hall, of course, we have to seat. I thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that Armond was called in to help out. I woulda killed myself trying to handle it alone.

-Cut to other responsibilities: Picking up magazine lounge, giving customer service their break (screwing up an order royally in the process), helping take a survey of the customers (asking their zip code, for some reason), and passing out a TON of posters.

-Tired. Jeff need sleep. Sleep is good. Sleep works.

Greatest Last Paragraph EVER

Roger's review of "Legend of Zorro."

The review is great as a whole, but that last paragraph is one of the funniest things ever.

"Ah, I've found it! Shame I can't use it. Four letters. This is a family newspaper. Starts with 's.'"

Mr. Ebert, you do indeed still rule the universe.

Best Movies Ever...If You Haven't Seen Many

We have a new list of the Best Movies Ever from that quintessential source, Total Film Magazine.

I never heard of 'em, either.

But they have a list, by god. They have a list.

1. GoodFellas
2. Vertigo
3. Jaws
4. Fight Club
5. The Godfather Part II
6. Citizen Kane
7. Tokyo Story
8. The Empire Strikes Back
9. The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy
10. His Girl Friday

This brings a few questions to mind. 10, in fact.

1. How come "Lord of the Rings" gets squished into one entry when trilogy members "Godfather" and "Empire" get singled out?

2. Fight Club?

3. Notice how most of the Greatest Movies Ever were probably made within the lifetime of the writers of this list.

4. Jaws is a great flick, but ranking it above Kane is laughable to no end.

5. Fight Club?

6. Oh, and other than Tokyo Story, all the Greatest Movies Ever are in English.

7. GoodFellas is one of my favorite films ever, no argument about its placement on top, really. Much issue with the smug way the writer announces it in the story, though.

8. Not to be anti-populist or anything, but most of the Greatest Movies Ever seem to be ones pretty much everyone has already seen. This is not to say that popular movies cannot be great, but rather to note that, perhaps, the authors of this list may not have seen many films that aren't well-known.

9. No Fargo? Casablanca? Hoop Dreams? Pulp Fiction? Kubrick? Fellini? Kaufman? Chaplin?

10. FIGHT CLUB?!?!?!

Oh, one more thing...

Congrats to Family Guy AND American Dad for being given the highest honor of all: being named the worst shows on TV by the Parent's Television Council! Way to go, guys, I knew you could do it!

L. Brent Bozell, beyond being one of the world's biggest douches, also proves himself a most dense individual by saying in the article that both FG and AD are touted as being "family friendly."

Um, yeah. Maybe it's the word "family" in the title that gives him that idea.

Someone lock Bozo in a room with some uber-violent Anime for 48 hours and teach him that not all cartoons are for kids. Dickweed.

By the way, for those without the stomach to actually read said article, the shows rated HIGHEST by the PTC? "Extreme Makeover" and "Three Wishes." To paraphrase Roger, people like this don't care if there's anything GOOD in a show, just so long as there's nothing BAD in it.

Tell me again how Wallace and Gromit was too violent, miss?

A Week's Delay and Not Much to Say...

Been a long week of many events but few of actual consequence in the life of Jeff McGinnis, hence the lack of a pull to really write anything. A few events in the coming days...

-Bound for Glory, TNA's first post-Spike-deal PPV, will be tonight, with a stacked line-up. Only a couple of hitches: 1, the PPV is in Orlando and Wilma is predicted to soon head toward Florida (but will probably reach land on Monday, and hopefully will be much reduced in severity when it does), and 2, Kevin Nash, wrestling in the main event, was apparently hospitalized, according to TNAWrestling.com (hope he's okay, but to be frank, I wasn't buying the PPV to watch Nash wrestle, anyway).

-Gonna try and see a buncha movies this week to catch up. Haven't seen Serenity, Corpse Bride, Flightplan, Stay, or (most of all) Wallace and Gromit yet. Arrgh. So everyone who gets movie invites - expect a BUNCH of them this week!

-After a few weeks off for a lot of peeps, looking to re-start Poker Night in a big way next week, either in BG or up in Toledo at Beth's place.

-Loaded work week, five outta seven days. And aching feet, to boot.

Ergo, if you don't hear from me for ANOTHER seven days, that's why. Sorry!

Oh, Mad, you incredible rebels you...

According to Planet Family Guy, the show gets satirized on the cover of this month's issue of Mad Magazine, drawing each of the characters as a member of the Simpsons cast and proclaiming Family Guy "the most original show on television." Yeah, you know, the Simpsons were SO the first show EVER to depict a family having a mom, dad, and three kids.

And there ARE a few differences between Simpsons and Family Guy...

-The FG kids are in their teens, Simpsons are 9 and 7, I believe.
-Stewie talks, Maggie doesn't.
-Simpsons characters are yellow,FG have relatively realistic skin tones.
-Family Guy is still funny and relevant and not 10 years past its prime and 5 years past running out of every original idea it ever had.

Sorry, was that bitter?

The Nexus of Politics and Terror

Check it out.

Basically a transcript of a piece shown on last night's "Countdown," Keith Olbermann's blog today features the excellent and interesting breakdown of the coincidental timing between terror alerts and politically dicey situations for the Bush administration. The point, as Olbermann points out, is not to say that there is a connection between the two, but merely to spotlight the odd correlation.

Preceding the timeline, Olbermann cites a quote by Tom Ridge discussing how readily some were to raise the terror alert level for questionable reasons. A more apt quote, perhaps, can be cited from another source:

"Why does a dog wag its tail? Because the dog is smarter than its tail. If the tail were smarter, the tail would wag the dog."

Bizarre Double Standards? At the Oscars? Naaaaahhh!

From Yahoo News...

So, the Oscars will give awards for Best Sound Effects Editing and a lifetime achievement statue to the guy who invented the Steadicam, but the folks who do dives off of 40-story buildings and crash cars don't get anything. What a crock.

I mean, you can even lump 'em into the Scientific and Technical Awards show if you want, to eliminate the "makes the show too long" argument. I mean, jeez, if they were REALLY interested in keeping the show short they'd just eliminate the expensive production numbers and rediculously overwritten and unfunny presenter intros. And they can get off the hooey about "adding more awards would dilute the importance of the Oscar," when they ALREADY give out awards for such hooey as makeup (i.e., Use of Most Latex) and costume design (i.e. Use of Most Fabric).

What this is really about is blatantly clear: we don't wanna recognize stuntmen because we still want folks to think that it really is the actors themselves doing all those stunts. Well, boo hoo. If some egos get bruised, who cares? So long as you repay and respect the people who take the ACTUAL bruising.

Everybody say it with me...awwwww....

Yep, it's done.

What scares me most is the proclamation that they still wanna shop the show around to other networks, claiming that it's still a "vibrant and exciting franchise."

If anything connected to Paris Hilton has ever been "vibrant and exciting," I've somehow missed it. And no, that sex tape doesn't count. Neither does the leaked speed dial on her cell phone.

Bummer...

Check it out.

Aardman is one of the last truly great animation studios out there, and to lose their whole archive just hours after the success of Wallace and Gromit became official is pretty sad. Nick Park, however, should be credited for his comment that in light of the Pakistani earthquake, their fire really isn't that big a deal, after all.

Thoughts and sentiments with the people of South Asia. These past few months are becoming the textbook definition of "when it rains, it pours."

Not only, but also...

This woman is sitting outside in the hall today at work. She mutters something to me about how Wallace and Gromit is, "the worst movie I've ever seen. Have you seen it?"

I always wonder about people who kevetch about a movie and then immediately ask if I've seen it. I don't know if they're looking for instant verification or an argument.

Anyway, I state that no, I haven't, but I'm looking forward to it as I'm a big (HUGE) fan of the characters and the animators. Her response is to again get all grumble-y and rant some more, and then add, "It's also very violent. Too violent for kids. All those rabbits acting mean."

Ahem. Rabbits acting mean = too violent.

I just shrugged and waved my hand, trying to preserve my job. If I felt a little more secure in my position and a little more free to express myself, I would have followed that gesture with this monologue:

"Lady, if you think WALLACE AND GROMIT is too violent a film, you really need to get out of the plastic bubble you're living in more often. Expose yourself to some more films and let your worldview broaden a little, then maybe the sight of rabbits acting mean won't be quite the horribly offensive sight you seem to have interpreted it as. You're the kind of moviegoer who doesn't really care about how GOOD a movie is, just about how much BAD stuff there is in it, aren't you? See, it's folks like you who are encouraging filmmakers to take less chances, cater to the lowest common denomenator, and stifle their imagination for the sake of the dimmest bulbs in the pack. Audience members like you are making truly great movies harder and harder to find. Thank you, ma'am, thank you."

But that's just my internal monologue overreacting. Not that I was wrong, mind you.

Quick wrestling rant...

So, WWE cans the only good announcer Raw has anymore, Jim Ross, shipping him to WWE.com, even though the one guy they had earmarked to take over the slot (UFC announcer Mike Goldberg) has since declined their offer and they now have no one in mind to take over.

And Joey Styles is RIGHT THERE, UNDER CONTRACT, NOT BEING USED. And I KNOW that they won't even think to offer the gig to him.

Oh, and Stephanie is back on TV again.

TNA. TNA. TNA. TNA.

(think of it in a slow, quiet voice, like the con from "Longest Yard." It'll catch on.)

Ahem.

Read.

No matter your political or religious views, if this one's true, we're in trouble.

Anudder One from Andy...

1. FIRST NAME? Jeff
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Family friend and an uncle.
3. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Nada.
4. WHICH FINGER IS YOUR FAVORITE? Middle. Its use is absolutely multi-purpose and fun at parties.
5. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Moment of self-reflection a few weeks back.
6. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Not at all. I do MUCH better at a keyboard.
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey by default. I dislike most cold lunch meats.
8. ANY BAD HABITS? I chew pen caps a lot.
9. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF? The “Survivor” soundtrack, though even that has a kick-ass theme song so I ain’t too embarrassed.
10. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Not sure. I’ve met peeps who reminded me of me and became kinda territorial - hey, I’m the big, good natured, pop culture geek around these parts, son!
11.HAVE YOU EVER TOLD SOMEONE A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL? Yes. Hated myself until I asked forgiveness.
12. DO LOOKS MATTER? Depends. If the person has personality and knows how to carry him or herself, looks can be very relative. Some of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen have been those who wouldn’t necessarily fit into supposed modern standards of “beauty” - because of who they were and how they presented it.
13. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? Internally. I very rarely rage outside my own head.
14. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? Sylvania, Ohio.
15. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY? Depends on the person. Some people I’d trust with my life. Others could tell me the time and I’d still check my watch.
16. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? Wrestling action figures. Many, many epic pay-per-views were held in the McGinnis family living room.
17. WHAT CLASS IN SCHOOL DO YOU THINK IS TOTALLY USELESS? For me? Spanish. It’s probably a sad comment on myself, but I spent four years studying it and today I can remember a few numbers and that’s it.
18. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Nope. I also have no internet access and no pulse. (Irony RULZ!)
19. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Do you breathe?
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT? Nope. I was a dork. (Was?)
21. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? Intelligence, passion, humor, personal beauty (see my very relative definition above), the ability to converse, and above all, curiosity.
22.WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Heather calls me “Dude.” Greg and Ryan usually say “Mr. McGinnis.” Jess calls me “Pookie,” but I think she calls everybody “Pookie.” Creepy Carl tried to call me “McG,” but I put the kibosh on that one real quick.
23. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Think I already answered this one…
24. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Never. I always flip ‘em off with my feet.
25. DO YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE STRONG POINTS? Yes, but I always think they’re overshadowed.
26. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Vanilla. I’m a simple man.
27. WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE? 13. And trust me, in this case big feet means big feet.
28. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS? Red, Blue, Purple.
29. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE? 2.
30. WHO DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW? Melissa, Amanda, Jeanine.
31. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? If they wanna do so, fine. If not, I’m not gonna slit my wrists or anything.
32. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Nothing on the computer. One ear toward the baseball game down in the living room.
33. LAST THING YOU ATE? Small bowl of mixed nuts.
34. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Diane Shannon.
35. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX? Again, the eyes.
36. DO YOU LOVE THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS? Yep, Andy rocks.
37. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? Okay. Long day at work. No one answered my movie invite, sigh…
38. FAVORITE NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Diet Pepsi/Coke.
39. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Don’t drink booze. So there. Nyah.
40. FAVORITE SPORT? Baseball.
41. HAIR COLOR? Auburn/Red. Hence my affinity for redheads.
42. EYE COLOR? Brown.
43. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No need, no glasses, knock wood.
44. SIBLINGS? One younger brother.
45. FAVORITE MONTH? March. Nice-ish weather, usually, the Oscars, usually, and WrestleMania, usually.
46. FAVORITE FOOD? Changes. Currently various varieties of Hamburger Helper.
47. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? "A History of Violence.”
48. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Birthday.
49. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Hmm, 28 and still no relationship to speak of. What do you think?
50. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter.
51. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses, if only because I wanna know what it’s like.
52. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships, if I had the choice.
53. WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? Caitlin.
54. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? Abby.
55. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? The Official Honeymooners Treasury and Michael J. Fox’s autobiography (on tape, though).
56. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Ohio State Football logo commemorating the national championship.
57. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? 20 Questions.
58. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? “Best of AJ Styles” DVD I purchased.
59. FAVORITE SMELLS? When the seasons change, that smell that’s in the air.
60. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP? How long do I have to go back to sleep?

I Don't Hate These As Much as Lindsey Does

1. initials: JAM
2. name someone with the same birthday as you: Alfred Hitchcock. SCORE!
3. where was your first kiss?: Friend’s apartment, game of Truth or Dare. First one that matters has yet to happen.
4. for or against same sex marriages?: For them, as anyone with any common sense is, IMO.
5. are you homophobic?: No
6. are you bisexual?: Nope. Straight but not narrow.
7. do you believe in God?: Nope. Recovering Lutheran.
8. how many US states have you been to?: Maybe half of ‘em, many just driving through on the way to DC or Las Vegas.
9. how many of the US states have you lived in?: Only one, sigh.
10. have you ever lived outside the US?: Nope.
11. name something you like physically about yourself: My eyes are about it.
12. name something non physical you like about yourself: My loyalty to a fault.
13. where did you go to college?: BGSU
14. what is your dream car?: Red ‘57 Chevy.
15. if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?: Vegas is pretty much my favorite town on the map.
16. have you ever had someone of the opposite sex over at your house while your parents were gone?: Nope. Sigh…
17. how many concerts have you gone to?: Only two, both “Weird Al” Yankovic.
18. do you download music?: Used to, don’t anymore.
19. how many illegal things have you done?: 3 by my count.
20. where would you want to go on a first date?: Dinner and a movie.
21. describe your perfect date: Lovely meal at a nice place, seeing a great movie which inspires much post-film conversation back at her place. I‘ll leave the ending open. :)
23. ever been kissed under fireworks?: Nope.
24. do you like president bush?: Do you like having your toenails pulled out by a pair of rusty pliers? (Translated for the irony impaired: Nope.)
25. have you ever bungee jumped?: No, and no thank you.
26. have you ever white- water rafted?: Does Thunder Canyon at Cedar Point count?
27. have you ever crashed a car?: Yep, a couple of times. Not fun.
28. has anyone more than 10 years older than you hit on you?: Nope.
29. have you met a real redneck?: A few times, but I was able to avoid being in their presence too long so that intellectual osmosis wouldn’t set in.
30. are you interested in anyone right now?: Yes. Let the rampant speculation begin.
31. what song are you listening to right now?: Actually I’m watching an AJ Styles/D’Lo Brown ladder match on my computer’s DVD-ROM drive.
32. what is your current favorite song?: One of my own: I‘ve been singing “Pair ‘o Mice at the Klitschko Fight“ a lot.
33. what was the last movie you watched?: “A History of Violence.” Review below.
34. who was the last person you said you loved?: And meant it? Really meant it? Heather.
35. where was the last place you went besides your house?: My place of work.
36. have you ever seriously vandalized someone elses property?: Nope.37. have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?: Never.
38. have you ever sang in front of a large number of people?: Several times. Favorites are performing “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park” at Theta Monologue Night and my “Music of the Night“ parody before “Phantom“ screenings at work.
39. whats the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?: Eyes and smile.
40. what really turns you on?: Kindness, intelligence, warmth and a great rack.
41. what do you usually order from starbucks?: Starbucks? What is this evil of which you speak
42. what is your biggest mistake?: Not finishing the Thesis that summer.
43. have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?: Pinching to try and stay awake.
44. say something totally random about you: I am currently wearing a Batman T-Shirt and grey underwear.
45. do you have an i-pod?: Nope.
46. has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?: I’ve been told Rush Limbaugh (sigh) and the Campbell’s Soup kid (double sigh).
47. do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?: Quite a few. Dave the Barbarian kicks @$$.
48. do you have braces?: Nope.
49. are you comfortable with your height?: My height, yes. My width, not so much.
51. when do you know its love?: I haven’t known yet, why start now? By the way, what happened to #50?
52. do you speak any other languages besides English?: I’m trying to learn how to say “I can’t speak (insert language here), do you speak English?” in every language. That way if I ever get knocked out and wake up in French Guiana, I’ll be ready.
53. have you ever been to a tanning salon?: Nope. Imagine me in a Speedo. Case closed.
54. what magazines do you read?: None regularly, really. Most of my info is news websites and TV.
55 Are these surveys stupid?: Nah, just a pleasant time-waster.
56. do you have a hidden talent?: Not particularly. Most of my talents I try and take advantage of.
57. have you gone farther than kissing?: Sigh….
58. have you ever ridden in a limo?: Nope. Limos are right up there with Hummers on the “dumbest forms of transportation” scale.
59. has anyone you were really close with passed away?: Yes.
60. do you watch mtv?: Nope.
61. whats something that really annoys you?: Stupid questions.
62. whats something you really like?: Sharing cool stuff with friends.
63. do you like michael Jackson?: Eh, not really.
64. can you dance?: Kinda/sorta/maybe. I do a mean “Paradise,” though.
65. have you ever surfed?: Sure…surfed the Web! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha! Hooo….I am so sad.
66. do you know how to pump gas?: At a self serve or out of the ground?
67. do you drive?: Of course.
68. whats the latest you have ever stayed up?: A hair or two over 24 hours. Crashed and burned at the other end.
69. have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?: A few times. The sad part was at the time, it didn’t scare me because it’d mean I wouldn’t be depressed anymore.
70. were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?: “Rushed,” no, but when I dislocated my knee I went via ambulence.
71. have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do?: Yep. Aforementioned Truth or Dare game.
72. did you do it?: Yes.
71. do you actually read these when other people fill them out?: Usually. Though those who make them usually know how to put things in numerical order - 71, 72, 71 again?

Quick Weekend Review

Sitting at Greg's computer in the Condo, a quick update of the weekend's events before I crash...

-Long days at work, but made it through A-OK.

-Debut of TNA Impact on Spike was good not great, tried to showcase a lot of young talent but didn't give a lot of them a chance to shine. Debut of Team 3D rocked, though. Still amazed at how many folks are dismissing the promotion seemingly because of old WWE/WCW war wounds. Bigger issues, folks. (Note to Rick Scaia over at former stomping grounds OnlineOnslaught: Please get some tapes and learn a little about AJ Styles before you dismiss my current favorite wrestler because of his hoodie.)

-Sunday was a mad dash to find a locale for poker night (unsuccessful) followed by an evening at the movies with the lovely and talented Beth Wander (successful). Movie was "A History of Violence," which was overall good, but unsatisfactorily just kinda stopped, without really having an ending. Just my opinion.

-After an afternoon at work, traveled up to the Condo to watch Raw Homecoming with Greg, Steph and J. Overall, my reaction was eh. Iron Man Match was very good as expected, but the idiotic non-finish took away a lot. Hardy/Edge had no suspense whatsoever, since WWE were morons and gave away who'd be leaving Raw with their advance card results, and the humiliation of Matt Hardy for daring to have his heart broken continues. Austin's segment was ENDLESS, and all four McMahons taking stunners could be seen a mile and a half away, and wasn't worth the build-up. The legends segment was pointless. HHH returns as a face and buries Carlito, then turns heel on Flair just to REALLY bury Carlito. There ya go, Trips, show 'em for getting over. How dare they. Bra and Panties Match was a Bra and Panties Match. Smackdown gets dissed. Hogan/Austin gets set up, a match I have exactly NO interest in - WHEN WILL THE WRESTLING FANBASE WAKE UP AND GET OVER THE ORANGE GOBLIN?!?!?!?! And Cena beats Eric Bischoff and all storylines are forgotten as we close with a show vs. show brawl. It was big and important, sure. But really, other than those two matches, the show on a wrestling level wasn't very good. And the storylines were WWE special 20-minutes-to-say-2-minutes-worth-of-stuff. And beyond all that, the larger question remains: what the hell do you do next week? To say they've shot their wad is to understate it - they so packed this first show that they're gonna be hardpressed to live up to this for the next few months. All in all, I saw nothing on this show to draw me back from my persona non grata status with Whee.

-Crashing at Greg's, home tomorrow. Hope everyone else is doing well!

How Sweet It Is

50 years ago tonight, a television show debuted that would have an impact on its genre, its medium, and its society forever.

The concept was fairly simple. A man and his wife, and their neighbors, dealing with life in a work-a-day world. The characters seemed fit into fairly standard archetypes. The husband, a large, loud dreamer who under all his bluster was really a big pussycat. His wife, a woman who genuinely loved him but at the same time would take a stand when he was being near-sighted or unfair. His best friend, goofy but loveable and loyal to the end, no matter what end that might be. And his wife, caring and supportive, not as openly confrontational but just as fiercely independent.

From these four characters and this situation would come the groundswell of most situation comedies that would follow in the interim 50 years. Just as scholars look back at Shakespeare and find the source of much of the plot structure and character types which were produced in the following centuries, so too do a tremendous amount of sitcoms owe its inspiration to this show. (In many cases with plots and characters directly pilfered from it. Some may call it homage, I call it copying what works.) Remarkable, really, considering the show only ran for one season, and only 39 episodes were produced.

“The Honeymooners” is perhaps my favorite show of all time. Certainly it ranks in the top five. And definitely a great deal of my performance style, my love of comedy, my ear for verbal wit and timing, can be traced back to my childhood, and my fanship for Ralph, Alice, Norton and Trixie. I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t know “The Honeymooners,” actually.

Now, as we sit here 50 years to the day of the first episode of the “Classic 39” being aired, times certainly have changed. Three of the four main cast members have passed away, with only Joyce Randolph remaining. Many of my friends have never seen an episode of the show, and quite a few of them have never even heard of it, except in connection with the Cedric the Entertainer remake earlier this year. And as far as I can tell, there is no formal celebration for this television milestone being done anywhere.

Understandable, I suppose. Television is a cyclical medium. What is hot now will be forgotten next week. And this isn’t really even the “real” anniversary of the creation of the characters, which first appeared years before on Jackie Gleason’s variety program (exact dates are hard to come by - The Official Honeymooners Treasury lists the first sketch debuting in 1950, online sources list 1951- either way, predating its contemporary “I Love Lucy” and rebutting the claim that “Lucy came first”). And to a modern audience, viewing the shows for the first time, the story and characters depicted in “The Honeymooners” may seem cliché - because so many have copied it in the interim, they HAVE become cliché.

But the pioneers remain in our national consciousness, echoes of their impact seen most anywhere you can flip a dial. And beyond waxing rhapsodic about its significance, the show is simply funny - one of the greatest ever, even apart from its importance to its medium. Gleason, Meadows, Carney and Randolph took four characters which could have become over-the-top caricatures and instead made them sympathic, believable, funny, insightful - and immortal.

Baby, you were ALL the greatest.