Thursday, August 31, 2006

Jessica Mitolo: Bad-@ss

My dear friend Jessica has recently posted a blog entry wherein she laments how uncool she must appear to her new co-workers since she sadly has been struck with a case of pink eye.

To Jess, I only note one thing: the world's greatest wrestler, Samoa Joe, suffered a bout of pink eye earlier this year. And since, by definition, everything Joe does is bad-*ss and cool, you, too, are both bad-*ss and cool.

Jess & Joe: The single most awesome tag team to ever walk the earth. The Samoan Submission Machine and the Vile Style from Niles.

His finisher: the Muscle Buster. Your finisher: the Jessification.

His theme music: "I'm Gonna Knock You Out." Your theme music: "Let's Dance."

Face it Jess. You are now the baddest woman on the planet. All you need now is a catch phrase.

Any ideas? :)

Da New York Story

A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from my dear friend Diane Shannon, asking me if I'd mind driving to New York City for her family's company. My answer, of course, was, "Of course!"

See, the Shannons run Shannon Graphics, a graphic design firm operated out of their home in Sylvania. They do all sorts of things...design plans, website layouts, 3-D computer models of buildings, etc. All kinds of cool stuff. One of their specialties is supervising the building of miniature models of homes, so that architectural firms can have something to demonstrate to their clients what their projects will look like. These are small but very intricate pieces, and relatively fragile. As such, they cannot be shipped by conventional means. (Tom told me of a previous model which had been returned to them by a client via UPS. It arrived in pieces.)

So they have to drive the models to their destinations themselves. However, the sudden timing of this latest job made doing so impossible to schedule...so they asked me. I immediately agreed...I'd never been to New York before, and this was a great chance to do so.

Sadly, however, the whole thing got delayed a great deal when the client they were working for ended up requesting some literally last-second changes just as I was about to depart. This meant the next few weeks of my life were completely up in the air...I was never quite sure when I would have to depart, as the Shannons worked to modify the model to the client's specifications. As soon as it was done, and I had the appropriate time in my schedule, I was on my way.

Well, a week went by. Then I got my schedule for the coming week, and found two 2-day periods where I might be able to go. The first went by with no word. Then, on Wednesday, I got the call...I would leave Thursday morning.

The plan was simple if potentially exhausting: leave early Thursday, drive all day, arrive and check in at a hotel in NYC for the night, wake up early the next morning and drop the model off with the client, leave immediately for home. That's a lotta driving, no doubt, but I actually love being on the road, and was looking forward to the drive almost as much as I was to seeing New York. In addition, the Shannons would be picking up the tab for everything, from gas to meals to paying for my hotel room. In short, this would be pretty much a perfect trip, IMO.

I crashed at their place overnight, and early the following day I and Tom drove to the Budget rent-a-car place just down the street from their house to pick up the vehicle for the trip. It turned out to be a golden PT Cruiser, brand new. Beautiful car, and the back provided just enough room to comfortably situate the model without worrying too much about it sliding around during the trip. A quick load-up of model and provisions followed, and by 8:30 a.m. I was on my way.

The next 12 hours or so were pretty much a non-event, as I drove pretty much non-stop save for occasionally getting gas or grabbing a meal. I brought a ton of homemade mix CDs as well as a 4+ hour shoot interview with the most entertaining talker in wrestling, Jim Cornette. So I was never bored, though my inability to get a full night's sleep the night before came back to haunt me, as for a bit there I felt a wee bit sleepy. But shortly afterward I was right as rain, thanks to the glory of highly caffeinated diet soda.

Around 7 or so, I started pulling into the actual New York area, catching my first glimpse of the city from a distance while on the George Washington Bridge. (How big of a geek am I? All I could think was, "This was the bridge Snake was on at the beginning of Metal Gear Solid 2!") I never completely entered the city proper, for the record...my hotel and rendezvous were actually on Long Island. When I pulled into the parking lot at 8:30 (New York traffic, gotta love it), my initial reaction was kinda disappointed. The area looked, well, a lot like Toledo, really.

After settling in to my awesome room at the Holiday Inn Express (couch, desk, fridge, microwave, full cable, the works), I decided to treat myself to a nice, New York meal. My first reaction was to get something delivered, but nothing that was strictly local seemed to deliver. Not even the Pizza Hut I called. So back out into the world I went, finally settling on a Red Lobster just down the road. Yeah, I traveled 12 hours to eat at a Red Lobster. You tell me you could resist the siren song of that table bread they deliver. Sa-weet!

Afterward, I had a couple more hours to kill before I seriously had to consider bedtime. In the same plaza as the Lobster was a Lowe's Cinemas complex, and a little compare/contrast action with my current employer was hard to resist. The theatre was very nice, and I can now state for the record that some of our customers were not kidding...the ticket prices in Toledo are, in fact, more expensive than the ticket prices in New York. Scary, no?

After briefly considering catching a sneak of "Snakes on a Plane" (I decided I'd rather see that with some peeps...which I did later in the week) I instead decided to see "World Trade Center," thinking that my locale would add a level of resonance to the story, as well as the simple fact that I'd been wanting to see it anyway. The film was, indeed, very good...the most restrained yet emotionally driven film Stone has done yet. Those who have avoided it under the guise that he must have taken some hard-nosed political stances in it, I can only respond, see the movie. This is the most apolitical film Oliver Stone has ever (and probably will ever) make. It is instead a very, very personal story about two men and their experience during that horrific day. The wider implications of the event are not dealt with...much like "Titanic," this is a film about history in direct focus, giving its audience a sense of what it was like by telling us in great detail what it was like for a few of the ones who were there. It is not perfect (a few of the side-plots are focused on a bit too much for my liking...the core of the story is down in the shaft with those men, and going anywhere else just distracts), but it is well worth viewing.

Afterward, it was back to the hotel, where I was able to briefly hop on the net thanks to the executive office suite available for complimentary use. I posted my brief little blog thing there, and also got a wonderfully cool e-mail from Jess which just made my night (thanks again, dude). I also met a very nice guy who came in to use the computers as well...he was looking for a new car and asked if I knew any places online which listed such things. Having been through such problems myself, I was able to point him to a few sites, and we chatted for a few minutes before I really had to excuse myself to try and get some sleep. He shook my hand and told me it had been a genuine pleasure meeting me. I said likewise. Could the day get any nicer?

Nope. Upon reaching my room, I sat upon the toilet and after a second or two, heard a cracking sound. Merely by sitting on it, I had broken my toilet seat. Sigh. I remembered that they had taken my debit card information so that they could charge my card for "incidental" expenditures. Did that include broken toilet seats caused by the weight of my fat a**? I didn't know. (For the record, my account at this point contained about 5 bucks and could not afford even the slightest of charges.) I went down to the front desk and informed the concierge of my little mishap. He took a note. I asked if it would be charged to my card. He said he didn't know. Great. End result was that I was up an hour worrying about this and trying to figure out how to solve it if I did end up getting charged.

I was awoken by my phone ringing at 7:40, about 20 minutes before my wake-up call and about 6 hours after I'd finally gotten to sleep. It was Craig, the client I was dropping the model off to. We arranged a meeting at 9:30 at the Holiday Inn where I was originally gonna stay, about 45 minutes away (it was much closer for him, hence why they were gonna book me there, but it was completely filled when they tried). After a shower, I moseyed downstairs and talked to the morning concierge, asking her about the toilet seat problem. She assured me that I wouldn't be charged for it. All I could think was, "Why weren't you here last night? I could have gotten a full night's sleep." After wolfing down a small continental breakfast, I headed off to the meeting place.

Or, at least, I tried to. The Mapquest directions the Shannons had printed for me were perfectly fine for the first, say, 10 steps, then I got completely lost when I must have been within, oh, a mile or so of the hotel. I say "must have been" because I never actually GOT there. After going well beyond the directed amount of miles and seeing no Holiday Inn in sight, I stopped and asked for directions at a gas station. (I am in NO mood to perpetuate stereotypes about male drivers, thank you, I ALWAYS ask.) The kind gentlemen at the desk tell me, "two lights back, take a right, go a mile or so until you reach a circle in the road, you'll see it to your left." I thank them profusely, as I'm close to running late. So, to the second light! To the right! To a mile later! To...wait, there IS no circle in the road! Nor is there one for a mile after that! Or another mile! Arrgh!

So, back to the main street, stop at ANOTHER gas station and ask. The gentleman (who was operating a pump, for it was a full service station, thus bolstering my theory that I had somehow gone back in time, as I was sure those things didn't exist anymore) barks, "one light back, take a right." O-kay. One light back, take a right, and...lo and behold, a dead-end street! And the only thing on it is a post office! This town's gas station attendants certainly know their geography! So I call Craig to apologize profusely (as I was now very definitely late) and ask for help. He instead tells me to stay at the post office, he knows where it is and will come and meet me. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Craig shows up a scant 5 minutes later, a charming and kind man in a shirt and tie. We begin to unload the model from the back. I should mention at this point that I was terrified that somehow my driving had wrecked it and I'd have to drive home and back in the next week...but all was well, and the model pleased him very much. A quick load into his car and we were done. He even gave me a hundred for my troubles, which was a certainly unexpected but thoroughly appreciated bonus. This, in fact, gave me enough disposable income to stop at a Best Buy just down the street from my hotel and grab Heather a movie she'd been looking for all over the place (Night Breed) and Diane a wrestling DVD I've owed her for some time (Best of Samoa Joe).

After a quick load-up of my stuff and an equally quick checking out of the hotel, I was back on the road and heading for home by 11 a.m. Given the previous day's excursion, I figured I'd be back in town by 11 p.m., midnight at the latest, and that was if I made a few stops along the way. Well, a few stops I did make, but they were by no means by choice. I had ignored the fact that coming into town on Thursday was a different animal than leaving on Friday. The traffic in NYC was way more congested than it had been coming in, so I didn't even hit open road until 1 or so. Then, after a clear shot through New Jersey, it all went to hell by the time I hit Pennsylvania. See, they were working on the roads. ACROSS THE WHOLE STATE. So there'd be these huge stretches of, like, ten miles where the road would be one lane. And the traffic would, naturally, grind to a screeching halt miles even before that. It was so bad that I called Heather after one rest stop, then called her about 2 hours later, and I was only MAYBE 30 miles further than when I had last called her. And it went on like this the whole way from PA border to PA border...break out into clear sailing, get a few miles away from a one-lane section, stop with the traffic, inch our way through, and on we went again. Special thanks to Heather and Abby for talking to me on the phone and helping me keep my sanity through this stage.

With all the delays, I didn't make it back to the Shannons' home until 1:30-2 a.m, to find Tom and Diane still awake and waiting for me. They didn't need to do that, though I deeply appreciated it. I had spent about 27 of the previous 40 hours driving there and back. Still, I enjoyed the whole trip immensely. I love long driving, really (when you're moving, at least), and I got to ever-so-briefly acquaint myself with the Big Apple. In fact, my taste was whetted enough to pencil in a unencumbered-by-business excursion sometime in the next year, this time with plenty of time to see stuff. Anyone wanna come with? :)

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Feeling Morally, Intellectually Confused?

I humbly recommend any and all to check out Keith Olbermann's commentary from the Wednesday edition of Countdown.

To which I can only say, "bravo."

Here, There, and Everywhere

So, for the past few months, for reasons I couldn't even BEGIN to explain, I have only been posting blog updates to my MySpace blog.

I dunno. I just did.

So, figuring that a whole buncha friends who aren't ON MySpace might wanna read my blog too (and also wanting to congratulate Abby in front of as many folks as possible), I have re-posted everything I posted there here, with appropriate date attribution. Now both blogs will be updated simultaniously. You can read one or the other! Swap 'em! Trade 'em with your friends! Collect the whole set!

(BTW, what is up with AllAudiences, which I haven't posted to in EVEN LONGER? Working on it...eventually...)

CONGRATULATIONS ABBY!!!!

My dear friend Abby Bollenbacher has just been named the new Face of Fox Toledo!

The website hasn't been updated yet, but the press releases have been sent out and Abby has the full story on her blog, complete with the tales of her first days of work!

I'd like to offer my uber-congrats to Abs, once again...I'm so happy for you, my friend!

(For the record, thanks to Abby, I actually knew about her victory back on Monday, but since Fox hadn't announced it yet, I didn't wanna blab it all over the place. Yet...I did. Kinda. Take a closer look at my previous blog entry...doesn't there seem to be a "hidden" link in the ellipsis at the end? And what does the first letter of each paragraph spell out? :) )

A few random observations and notes...

(posted 8/28/06)

-A big story from the wrestling world...Kurt Angle has been released from WWE. PWInsider.com has all the details for those interested. My personal take...I sincerely hope Kurt takes this chance to heal up and get his life together. I love watching you perform, dude. I don't want to watch you if I have to worry that you're gonna get hurt in every match. If your body is to the point where the company would rather release you than use one of the great in-ring talents EVER, that might be a clue. Get well, Kurt.

-But on the flip side, Trish Stratus has just announced her retirement to get married. It is no secret that she is my current reigning celebrity crush, but she backs it up in the ring and has has become an amazing wrestler when a lot of folks in her era have skated by on looks alone. You will be sorely missed, Trish, and may your impending nuptuals be happy ones!

-Boy, the irony...Lindsey and I both post "Snakes on a Plane" quotes simultaniously on our page, and neither of us successfully answers it from the other. (Lindsey didn't know mine, I didn't see hers in time to answer. Arrgh.)

-You know what's kinda annoying? The new MNF clock now that it's on ESPN. It's too big and it's dead center of the bottom of the screen. I'm not even a football fan and I find that really annoying.

-Well, I hope you guys are happy. All of you Project Runway fans have not only successfully gotten me hooked on the show, I find myself listening to Tim Gunn's podcasts a lot while I'm tooling around on the computer. I can't afford another pop culture obsession, dudes! I already have 24, Good Eats, Family Guy and House to worry about!

-Oh, and have you listened to this yet? No? Then do so! Now!

-Now is time for bed. Still need to finish New York entry, maybe tomorrow. More soon...

About Time, No Pun Intended

(posted 8/27/06)

Congrats to "24" for finally, finally, by god FINALLY winning its long deserved Emmy as Best Drama, and to Kiefer Sutherland finally grabbing a statue for best lead actor. The show has been the best produced and most consistently entertaining hour on television for the past five years, and acknowledgement of this has been LONG overdue. Congrats to the show and to its rock of a leading man for finally picking up some gold for their hard work. Helps to wash out the bitter taste that all the bizarro-land nomination omissions (No Hugh? No Jason? No Lost?) brought to the table.

(BTW, the New York story is coming...I've actually been working at it on and off for the past week. Expect an epic entry soon enough.)

(One more BTW...The Simpsons picking up an Emmy this late in the game just screams, "Hi, we're the voters. We don't watch the show anymore, either. But we'll throw it an Emmy because we don't wanna give another statue to that naughty 'Family Guy' or 'South Park.'")

Don't Download This Song

(posted 8/27/06)

Go here, now, and listen.

Genius.

A video is also up at Yahoo Music.

September 26th can't get here soon enough.

It's Up to You, New York, New Yoooooork....

(posted 8/17/06)

As I type, I am seated in the business lounge of a Holiday Inn Express in a suburb just slightly outside of New York City.

Just wanted to brag. :)

More details and full scoop tomorrow when I will (probably) be back home. For now, this is Jeff McGinnis. I'm in New York and you (most likely) are not.

A toast...

(posted 8/15/06)

To friends who are soon leaving, or have recently left, to begin their lives anew elsewhere...

"I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more gray and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend." - The Shawshank Redemption

I love each and every one of you. Selfishly, I am saddened by the fact that you are leaving my life. But your lives will be made all the brighter by the opportunities that your departure will bring.

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." - Len Brown

Steph, J, you're taking a big chance in a big city. I know it can be hard to get your feet planted. But once you do, I have nothing but confidence in your personal ability to succeed in that environment. You are two of the most talented, wonderful people I've ever met. You can do this, no doubt.

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Jess...your new environs may be intimidating, especially for your first steps into independance. But I've always known that beneath that meek exterior lies the heart of a lion and the soul of a champion. You have more drive, passion and ability than you've ever given yourself credit for. I know you will make it, and make it work.

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing." - Abraham Lincoln

Greg, please never be discouraged. The opportunities are there, and so is your talent. All that's needed is the drive to succeed. I've seen it in you before, and I have no doubt I will see it again.

"In this life we get only those things for which we hunt, for which we strive, and for which we are willing to sacrifice." - George Matthew Adams

Beth...you may be taking the biggest chance of them all. But you are doing so for the most wonderful of reasons. When I say that Greg is the luckiest man on the planet, I refer not only to the fact that he has your affection, but also to the fact that he has someone who is willing to initiate such change in their life for him. When we make such choices, it demonstrates as much about ourselves as it does about the one we make them for. You, my friend, are a wonderful, wonderful person. May you find a lifetime of love and happiness wherever life leads you.

"The road to a friend's house is never long." - Danish Proverb

Damn straight. You guys can't get rid of me THAT easily. Word of advice: keep a guest bed handy. :)

Aww...TNA got me a fire for my birthday!

)posted 8/13/06)

TNA Wrestling had a PPV tonight. I didn't order it, as it was the 29th anniversary of the date of my birth and I tend to like celebrating such events with good friends (and I did, having an awesome shindig at Heather's place with her, Mark, Beth and Steph. Thank you so much, guys! Special thanks also to Abby and Loren for taking me out mini-golfing earlier in the day, and my whole family for lunch, too!).

Well, TNA went and had a bit of a calamity without me. As the pyro went off to start the show, a fire started in the catwalks above the ring. During the first match, a whole plume of fire extinguisher smoke came down and filled the arena. PWInsider.com described it as "watching wrestling in a fog." The TNA audience, ever good sports, chanted, "You can't see us!"

Well, the building had to be evacuated, so Mike Tenay and Jeremy Borash had to stall for time on camera until the crowd could be allowed back in. Major props to those guys for keeping their cool in a tough circumstance, as well as to Eric Young, who, keeping in line with his character's current paranoia about being fired, ran up to the announcers and stressed that the fire wasn't his fault.

Well, everything got straightened out and the crowd went back in, and it sounded like the show as a whole was pretty darn good from a wrestling standpoint...maybe worth ordering for the sheer spectacle of the problems they had AND the quality of the work alone. Christian turning heel could be seen coming from several time zones away, though.

Hogan vs. Sofa: Fight to the Finish!

(posted 8/9/06)

Continuing with wrestling fans' endless enthusiasm for seeing a senior citizen stumble about the ring pretending he can still perform, Hulk Hogan is scheduled to face Randy Orton at SummerSlam. This dream match that no one wanted to see is in jeopardy, however, as Hogan is claiming to have suffered a torn meniscus in his knee. Suffered how, you ask? A bad fall? A vicious attack?

No, silly. He tore his knee getting up out of his couch.

No, seriously.

That bastion of journalistic integrity, WWE.com, is reporting that Hogan had an MRI to confirm the injury. But, by god, he is deciding to work toward overcoming the furniture-enduced wound and will still perform at SummerSlam.

Two observations, based upon the two possible interpretations of this event.

One - if it is a work, maybe this is a way to give Hogan a way to lose to Orton without losing credibility. If that's the case, MAYBE we should have come up with a better excuse for his injuries than the one we have.

Two - if it's legit, then maybe, just MAYBE, if you can't even GET UP OFF THE COUCH without tearing a ligament, it's time to stop pretending you belong in the ring, "brother." If you still need that notoriety, keep doing your little reality show and leave the wrestling to the ones who can actually still, you know, WRESTLE.

There Is No God by Penn Jillette

(posted 8/9/06)

(reposted from NPR's "This I Believe" series of essays - you can find (and hear) the original posting at: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5015557. One of my favorite essays on the subject of religion.)

There Is No God by Penn Jillette

I believe that there is no God. I'm beyond atheism. Atheism is not believing in God. Not believing in God is easy -- you can't prove a negative, so there's no work to do. You can't prove that there isn't an elephant inside the trunk of my car. You sure? How about now? Maybe he was just hiding before. Check again. Did I mention that my personal heartfelt definition of the word "elephant" includes mystery, order, goodness, love and a spare tire?

So, anyone with a love for truth outside of herself has to start with no belief in God and then look for evidence of God. She needs to search for some objective evidence of a supernatural power. All the people I write e-mails to often are still stuck at this searching stage. The atheism part is easy.

But, this "This I Believe" thing seems to demand something more personal, some leap of faith that helps one see life's big picture, some rules to live by. So, I'm saying, "This I believe: I believe there is no God."

Having taken that step, it informs every moment of my life. I'm not greedy. I have love, blue skies, rainbows and Hallmark cards, and that has to be enough. It has to be enough, but it's everything in the world and everything in the world is plenty for me. It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more. Just the love of my family that raised me and the family I'm raising now is enough that I don't need heaven. I won the huge genetic lottery and I get joy every day.

Believing there's no God means I can't really be forgiven except by kindness and faulty memories. That's good; it makes me want to be more thoughtful. I have to try to treat people right the first time around.

Believing there's no God stops me from being solipsistic. I can read ideas from all different people from all different cultures. Without God, we can agree on reality, and I can keep learning where I'm wrong. We can all keep adjusting, so we can really communicate. I don't travel in circles where people say, "I have faith, I believe this in my heart and nothing you can say or do can shake my faith." That's just a long-winded religious way to say, "shut up," or another two words that the FCC likes less. But all obscenity is less insulting than, "How I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do." So, believing there is no God lets me be proven wrong and that's always fun. It means I'm learning something.

Believing there is no God means the suffering I've seen in my family, and indeed all the suffering in the world, isn't caused by an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent force that isn't bothered to help or is just testing us, but rather something we all may be able to help others with in the future. No God means the possibility of less suffering in the future.

Believing there is no God gives me more room for belief in family, people, love, truth, beauty, sex, Jell-O and all the other things I can prove and that make this life the best life I will ever have.

"Hell" Yeah!

(posted 8/7/06)

About time someone picked this one up. 2008, baybee!

Not to be a buzzkill...

(posted 8/7/06)

A bulletin is circulating among the boards asking people to repost for the sake of a 23-year-old man with a brain tumor and lung cancer and so forth. He claims that he can't pay his medical bills and that for everyone who reposts said bulletin, the Make-A-Wish Foundation will donate seven cents to his cause. He includes the usual statements about being selfish if you don't do it and whatnot, and even includes his phone number, if you wanna call him and verify it. Quote: "Repost this or you have no soul seriously."

I HATE being told things like that. So, I did a little research.

First of all, the Make-A-Wish Foundation, one of my favorite charities, is an organization which provides ailing children the chance to fulfill a dream, from meeting a favorite celebrity to participating in an activity that might otherwise be impossible. They are a wholly non-profit organization, operating entirely on the donations of the public and the good graces of those who choose to participate.

They are not an organization which is in a financial position to readily donate thousands of dollars through an internet petition. There are many organizations which can donate such amounts, and do, but their work has a different focus. Their goal is not necessarily treating the medical condition itself, but helping the person who suffers from it, and giving them a memory which will aid them in coping with the affliction.

They also, as noted, deal almost exclusively with children, so the notion that Make-A-Wish would be donating such an amount to a 23-year-old man is doubly problematic.

Beyond that, let us reflect upon even the basic idea that the number of times a bulletin is reposted will be tracked, apparently by MySpace, within what would have to be a set-yet-curiously-undefined time limit, then this number would be reported to whatever foundation would actually sponsor such a thing, who then in turn would give whatever appropriate amount would be necessary to the guy for his operations. Seems rather complex a series of events when JUST GIVING HIM THE NECESSARY FUNDS was possible. Why would a worthwhile charity resort to such a jumping-through-hoops publicity stunt?

The simple answer: they wouldn't. I called the Ohio chapter of Make-A-Wish to verify that there was, to the best of their knowledge, no such program organized through MySpace or anywhere else. ("We just don't do things like that," the operator I talked to said.)

My guess, this whole thing is a scam to see how many people they can get to repost it. The folks who repost feel good about themselves, which is as good a reason as any to do such a thing. No harm in that.

The harm comes in guilt-tripping. Insisting to people that whether or not they repost such a thing indicates whether or not they are a good person is straight up bulls#!t. To manipulate another's emotions by claiming such things, when you yourself are quite clearly making this up and are just messing with their heads for no reason, is EVIL. Period.

If you want to do some good, that's wonderful. The Make-A-Wish Foundation website is at http://www.wish.org, and they're all set to accept donations, no matter how big or small. If not Make-A-Wish, there are tons of very worthy charities which could use a helping hand. If you can't for whatever reason, that's cool. You should give because you can and you want to. You shouldn't because you feel you have to, or because someone is trying to shame you into action.
Just my opinion.

There Only Was One Choice...

There Only Was One Choice by Harry Chapin

There's a kid out on my corner -- hear him strumming like a fool
Shivering in his dungarees -- but still he's going to school
His cheeks are made of peach fuzz -- his hopes may be the same
But he's signed up as a soldier out to play the music game

There are fake patches on his jacket -- he's used bleach to fade his jeans
With a brand new stay pressed shirt -- and some creased and wrinkled dreams
His face a blemish garden -- but his eyes are virgin clear
His voice is Chicken Little's -- But he's hearing Paul Revere

When he catches himself giggling -- he forces up a sneer
Though he'd rather have a milk shake -- he keeps forcing down the beer
Just another folkie -- late in coming down the pike
Riding his guitar -- he left Kid brother with his bike

And he's got Guthrie running in his bones
He's the hobo kid who's left his home
And his Beatles records and the Rolling Stones
This boy is staying acoustic.
There's Seeger singing in his heart
He hopes his songs will somehow start
To heal the cracks that split apart
America gone plastic

And now there's Dylan dripping from his mouth
He's hitching himself way down south
To learn a little black and blues
From old street men who paid their dues
'Cause they knew they had nothing to lose
They knew it
So they just got to it

With cracked old Gibsons and red clay shoes
Playing 1-4-5 chords like good news
And cursed with skin that calls for blood
They put their face and feet in mud
But oh they learned the music from way down there
The real ones learn it somewhere

Strum your guitar -- sing it kid
Just write about your feelings -- not the things you never did
Inexperience -- it once had cursed me
But your youth is no handicap -- it's what makes you thirsty

Hey, kid you know you can hear your footsteps as you're kicking up the dust
And the rustling in the shadows tells you secrets you can trust
The capturing of whispers is the way to write a song
It's when you get to microphones the music can go wrong

You can't see the audience with spotlights in your eyes
Your feet can't feel the highway from where the Lear jet flies
When you glide in silent splendor in your padded limousines
Only you are crying there behind the silver screen
Now you battle dragons -- but they'll all turn into frogs
When you grab the wheel of fortune -- you get caught up in the cog

First your art turns into craft -- then the yahoos start to laugh
Then you'll hear the jackals howl 'cause they love to watch the fall
They're the lost ones out there feeding on the wounded and the bleeding
They always are the first to see the cracks upon the walls

When I started this song I was still thirty-three
The age that Mozart died and sweet Jesus was set free
Keats and Shelley too soon finished, Charley Parker would be
And I fantasized some tragedy'd be soon curtailing me

Well just today I had my birthday -- I made it thirty-four
Mere mortal, not immortal, not star-crossed anymore
I've got this problem with my aging I no longer can ignore
A tame and toothless tabby can't produce a lion's roar

And I can't help being frightened on these midnight afternoons
When I ask the loaded questions -- Why does winter come so soon?
And where are all the golden girls that I was singing for
The daybreak chorus of my dreams serenades no more

Yeah the minute man is going soft -- the mirror's on the shelf
Only when the truth's up there -- can you fool yourself
I am the aged jester -- who won't gracefully retire
A clumsy clown without a net caught staggering on the high wire

Yesterday's a collar that has settled round my waist
Today keeps slipping by me, it leaves no aftertaste
Tomorrow is a daydream, the future's never true
Am I just a fading fire or a breeze passing through?

Hello my Country
I once came to tell everyone your story
Your passion was my poetry
And your past my most potent glory
Your promise was my prayer
Your hypocrisy my nightmare
And your problems fill my present
Are we both going somewhere?

Step right up young lady --
Your two hundred birthdays make you old if not senile
And we see the symptoms there in your rigor mortis smile
With your old folks eating dog food and your children eating paint
While the pirates own the flag and sell us sermons on restraint

And while blood's the only language that your deaf old ears can hear
And still you will not answer with that message coming clear
Does it mean there's no more ripples in your tired old glory stream
And the buzzards own the carcass of your dream?

B*U*Y Centennial
Sell 'em pre-canned laughter
America Perennial
Sing happy ever after

There's a Dance Band on the Titanic
Singing Nearer My God to Thee
And the iceberg's on the starboard bow
Won't you dance with me

Yes I read it in the New York Times
That was on the stands today
It said that dreams were out of fashion
We'll hear no more empty promises
There'll be no more wasted passions
To clutter up our play

It really was a good sign
The words went on to say
It shows that we are growing up
In oh so many healthy ways
And I told myself this is
Exactly where I'm at
But I don't much like thinking about tha
t
Harry -- are you really so naive
You can honestly believe
That the country's getting better
When all you do is let her alone
Harry -- Can you really be surprised when it's there before your eyes
when you hold the knife that carves her you live the life that starves her to the bone

Good dreams don't come cheap
You've got to pay for them
If you just dream when you're asleep
There is no way for them to come alive to survive

It's not enough to listen -- it's not enough to see
When the hurricane is coming on it's not enough to flee
It's not enough to be in love -- we hide behind that word
It's not enough to be alive when your future's been deferred

What I've run through my body, what I've run through my mind
My breath's the only rhythm -- and the tempo is my time
My enemy is hopelessness -- my ally honest doubt
The answer is a question that I never will find out

Is music propaganda -- should I boogie, Rock and Roll
Or just an early warning system hitched up to my soul
Am I observer or participant or huckster of belief
Making too much of a life so mercifully brief?

So I stride down sunny streets and the band plays back my song
They're applauding at my shadow long after I am gone
Should I hold this wistful notion that the journey is worthwhile
Or tiptoe cross the chasm with a song and a smile

Well I got up this morning -- I don't need to know no more
It evaporated nightmares that had boiled the night before
With every new day's dawning my kid climbs in my bed
And tells the cynics of the board room your language is dead

And as I wander with my music through the jungles of despair
My kid will learn guitar and find his street corner somewhere
There he'll make the silence listen to the dream behind the voice
And show his minstrel Hamlet daddy that there only was one choice

Strum your guitar -- sing it kid
Just write about your feelings -- not the things you never did
Inexperience -- it once had cursed me
But your youth is no handicap -- it's what makes you thirsty, hey kid

Strum your guitar -- sing it kid
Just write about your feelings -- not the things you never did

There's a Dance Band on the Titanic
Singing Nearer My God to Thee
And the iceberg's on the starboard bow
Won't you dance with me...

Utter silliness...

(posted 8/5/06)

It's called the Traverse City Film Festival. It's a "charitable and non-profit" organization holding an annual event in Michigan where they show modern and classic movies. This is their second year. A glance at their playlist shows a uniquely diverse selection of films, from the biggest of blockbusters to the smallest of art house flicks. Their motto is, "Just Good Movies," a respectable standpoint if ever there was one.

One of those "Just Good Movies" being shown is a documentary entitled "Jesus Camp." It's about a group of kids being taken to a camp to be trained as members of "God's Army." The film has won several awards and is looking to be a art-house darling when it's released nationally later on this year.

But now, we get to the silly part. Magnolia Films, the company which just picked up the movie for distribution, asked the festival to halt all showings of the film scheduled this weekend.
Why? Because the founder of said festival is none other than Michael Moore. Yes, that Michael Moore. Magnolia Films seems to be of the opinion that even showing the film at a festival affiliated with Moore will cost them viewers in the Bible belt.

No, really.

To quote Magnolia president Eamonn Bowles, "The reality of the world we live in today is that if Michael Moore endorses it, tens of millions will automatically reject it."

Uh-huh.

Apparently, this concern did not occur to the makers of the upcoming mainstream comedy "Borat," which also showed at the festival over the weekend. Or the producers of the family flick "Zathura," whose video sales must have PLUMMETED as soon as word came that Moore had endorsed their film by deciding to show it. Or Steven Spielberg, whose career has now hit a roadblock because they're showing "Jurassic Park." Hell, I firmly believe that Stanley Kubrick, the subject of a festival-long tribute, would be completely shunned by moviegoers now if it wasn't for the slightly inconvenient fact that he's dead.

Hey, Magnolia, I never HEARD of "Jesus Camp" until I learned of it in connection with this festival. And small documentaries appeal to conservative communities almost as much as NRA rallies appeal to liberal ones. So maybe you should take your publicity where you can get it and keep your mouths shut, capisce?

And another dorky music plug...

(posted 8/5/06)

As a follow-up to the Al post, check out http://www.myspace.com/meatloaf for a few tracks from the upcoming Bat Out of Hell III. The new cut, "The Monster's Loose," is pretty good. The remake of "It's All Coming Back to Me"...I can't believe I'm gonna type this sentence, but I think Celine Dion did it better.

"You're Pitiful!" New Weird Al! For Free! Yay!

(posted 8/5/06)

Okay, so Al has a new album ("Straight Outta Linwood") coming September 26th. On said album, Al was going to include a parody of the James Blunt song "You're Beautiful." He had Blunt's permission, everything was good to go. Then the suits at Blunt's label called Al and told him he couldn't release the song.

So Al, being the nice guy he is, has taken the song off the album.

And put it up on the web for free download.

Check it out: http://www.myspace.com/weirdal

Just more proof how many ways Al rocks.

Hell yeah.

(posted 8/5/06)

I'd rather be Steamboat than Flair any day.

Ricky Steamboat
You scored 92n wrestlingosity, brother!
Technically one of the greatest performances, ever, just lacking that little something extra to take it into all-time level. This was a mat classic you've put on, and definitely something to take pride in.

Pro-wrestling trivia enthusiasts will be studying your work for a while to come.

Congratulations! (If you enjoyed taking the test, please remember to rate it. :)

If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:

Nerds'>http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=9935030990046738815">Nerds, Geeks & Dorks

Love'>http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=8115472531704248346">Love & Sexuality

Buffy'>http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=17325897279428986557">Buffy the Vampire Slayer

America/Politicshttp://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=10603689462944369577">America/Politics>

Thanks Again! --
THE'>http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=16508533975919017840">THE *ULTIMATE* PRO-WRESTLING TRIVIA TEST






My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
Link: The ULTIMATE Pro-Wrestling Trivia Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test


Wow.

(posted 8/2/2006)

This couldn't have been more wrong if it had told me I was a slender supermodel with an obsession for Faberge eggs.

Your Birthdate: August 13

You're dominant and powerful. You always need to be in charge.

While others respect your competence, you can be a bit of a dictator.

Hard working and serious, you never let yourself down.

You are exact and accurate - and you expect others to be the same way.

Your strength: You always get the job done

Your weakness: You're a perfectionist to a fault

Your power color: Gray

Your power symbol: Checkmark

Your power month: April


http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/" a >What<>Does Your Birth Date Mean?

It's later than you think...

(posted 7/18/2006)

Hey, everyone ELSE is posting song lyrics these days...

"A Kiss is a Terrible Thing to Waste" by Jim Steinman

(If Only)
(If Only)

If you listen to the night, you can hear the darkness call.
I can barely stand the wait, I can barely stand at all.

Come on closer to me now, like we're sharing the same skin.
We've gotta get out of this jail, we've gotta let the future in.

So many things in your life that you're bound to regret,
Why didn't I do that? Why didn't I do this?

So many chances you've lost that you'll never forget,
Why didn't I make it? Why didn't I take it right there?

The lonliest words you will ever know: If only, if only it were so.
The emptiest words that there'll ever be: It coulda been me, it coulda been me.
The lonliest words you will ever know: If only, if only it were so.
The emptiest words that there'll ever be: It coulda been me, it coulda been me.

You'll have to pay for it later, if you don't get it when it's going for free.
Believe me, Believe me.

A kiss is a terrible thing to waste,
A kiss is a terrible thing to waste,
It's something that's always been so.
A kiss is a terrible thing to waste,
A kiss is a terrible thing to waste,
And one of these nights you've gotta show me that you already know.
There's a feast waiting for you and you've never even gotten a taste.
It's later than you think and a kiss, is a terrible thing to waste.

You shouldn't tremble when we touch, there's no reason for these fears.
It's a promise that was made, we've been promised this for years.

I want to show you it all, what to do when, where and how.
'Cuz we'll never be as young as we are right now.
We'll never be as young as we are right now.

So many cries in the night, that you try to ignore,
Why didn't I do this? Why didn't I do that?

So many unanswered prayers, so many unopened doors,
Why didn't I take it? Why didn't I make it come true?

The lonliest words you will ever know: If only, if only it were so,
The emptiest words that there'll ever be: It coulda been me, it coulda been me.
The lonliest words you will ever know: If only if only it were so,
The emptiest words that there'll ever be: It coulda been me, it coulda been me.
You'll have to pay for it later, If you don't get it when it's going for free.
Believe me, Believe me, Believe me.

A kiss is a terrible thing to waste,
A kiss is a terrible thing to waste,
It's something that's always been so.
A kiss is a terrible thing to waste,
A kiss is a terrible thing to waste,
And one of these nights I'm gonna show you that you already know.
There's a feast waiting for you and you've never even gotten a taste.
It's later than you think and a kiss, is a terrible thing to waste.

Tire tracks and broken hearts, it's all we're leaving behind.
It doesn't matter what we lose, it only matters what we're goin' to find.
Tire tracks and broken hearts, it's all we're leaving behind.
It doesn't matter what we lose, it only matters what we're goin' to find.
Tire tracks and broken hearts, it's all we're leaving behind.
(Let's get away from the past)
It doesn't matter what we lose, it only matters what we're goin' to find.
(So many ways to go back)

There's a feast waiting for you and you've never even gotten a taste,
It's later than you think and a kiss, is a terrible thing to waste.
(A kiss is a terrible thing to waste.)
A kiss, is a terrible thing to waste.