Q'n'D Reviews: "The Aviator," "Phantom of the Opera," "Kinsey," and "Beyond the Sea"

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you not only get my first update in forever, but you get four, count 'em, FOUR Q'n'D movie reviews in one post! Well, now you know what I've been doing the past four days... :)

-"The Aviator" - First up was Martin Scorsese's three-hour biopic on Howard Hughes, starring Leonardo DiCaprio. Scorsese's work as director is being much praised, and there's a lot of talk that Martin will finally get his much-deserved Oscar. While his work is indeed excellent, what I was surprised to find is that I respected DiCaprio's work even more. Here is an excellent actor who descended into pop stardom via "Titanic" just when many actors his age are getting the chance to flower into full bloom - instead, his talent was crushed under the weight of the monstrous success that film was, and the accompanying snide dismissals from pop critics. (His co-star, Kate Winslet, went through much the same process, and has just recently emerged herself.) Now, after good work in "Gangs of New York" and "Catch Me if You Can," here is his best and most powerful screen performance, capturing the essence of Howard Hughes' genius, passion, drive, and ultimately, descent into madness. DiCaprio is onscreen for virtually the entire film, and carries it all brilliantly. Combined with Scorsese's masterful telling of the tale (he's much more successful at composing this story than with the relatively disappointing "Gangs"), and this is a terrific film, worthy of the Oscar hype it's receiving, though it was not the best film I saw this week.

-"The Phantom of the Opera" - An admission of the theatre student - I have never seen Phantom on a stage. I've heard a lot of the score many times over, and have guessed at the plot from my exposure to that, but never have I seen the whole thing played out before me. Well, I have now seen the movie version, and I have confirmation from the lovely and talented Courtney Altenburg that it is indeed faithful to the original. Well, color me surprised to learn just how...well...bad a musical it is. Well, that's not really fair - it's not terrible, and as spectacle, the story lends itself well to Webber's grandiose musical numbers (all five or so that there are in the show). But hearing a lot of the lyrics and melodies anew after being exposed to some truly great musical theatre - Sondheim, Gilbert and Sullivan, etc. - the relatively simplistic composition of Phantom becomes pretty underwhelming. And as a story, Phantom just doesn't hold up. The characters - all of them - are one-dimensional and bland. The basic core of it all should be the Phantom's essential nature as something at the crossroads between a man and a monster, both sympathetic and horrifying. But he's neither. The musical cheats and makes him way too sympathetic and human way too early, so that when he commits his horrible acts, they read not as the mad lashing out of a monster, but the machinations of the plot which require the Phantom to do this, at this point. The show can't even muster enough to make the Phantom truly scary in appearance - sure, he's disfigured, but other than that he's a pristine hunk. Heck, in the film version, even when his mask is pulled off to reveal his deformity, he's still only a level or two below, say, Willem Dafoe. (I said that line to Heather earlier tonight and she reacted like it was a slight against the Phantom.)

None of these criticisms are leveled at the movie, BTW, which I still enjoyed as pure escapism and spectacle. Director Joel Schumacher (whose work I have usually enjoyed, despite the drubbing he got from folks for "Batman and Robin") has done his best to fashion a silk purse out of this one, with tremendous visual invention and energetic direction (the opening sequence where the chandelier lighting turns the b&w screen into full color, blowing away cobwebs in the process, is pure genius). The performances are adequate enough, except, again, by that blasted Phantom (and just why couldn't we give Michael Crawford this role, now that he's middle-aged and would, by common sense, better fit the role than a 30-something who looks like a Guess model with a mask on?). Fans of the show will enjoy the film, I think. Even I, as someone who is coming to realize that I don't really enjoy the show, just parts of the score, appreciated the film for what it was. And Schumacher's work is to be commended. But this isn't a great musical film. And it damn sure ain't the best film I saw this week.

-"Kinsey" - Bill Condon's biopic on the famous sex researcher is a fascinating film, interesting, intriguing, thought-provoking and insightful, but ultimately, it is all these things on more of the level of a document, rather than a completely involving narrative film. Don't get me wrong here, I am not holding that against the film in any way, in fact, I am praising it as a strength. Considering the nature of Kinsey's work and the impact it had on the way society viewed sexuality (up to a point), it would probably be a disservice to the man to try and shoehorn his life into the necessary trappings of a biopic, and instead what we have feels more like a summary, a textbook discussion of Kinsey's life, his work, his focus, his goal. I found little true insight on the man himself, for the work is the point. And perhaps this is as it should be. The film demonstrates Kinsey's methods and theories, and the impact they had on a society which had long considered sexuality to be the equivalent of the squid in Family Guy - present, but never to be discussed. Though Kinsey, people finally had an outlet, a point from which discussion could come, and values re-evaluated. This came at a tremendous cost to Kinsey, who was mocked, discredited, and lost a great deal for simply asking questions and coming to not-too-popular conclusions. But his work paved the way for the sexual freedoms of today, though many still believe we'd all be better off if we just kept ignoring the squid (much as you still find people who try to argue the Earth is flat). The most fascinating bit is the film's ultimate conclusion, which seems to indicate that, to Kinsey, sex was a natural, physical, human impulse, but one that could be viewed independently of love, which is a deeper emotional trait and one which "cannot be analyzed." Maybe that is our next step - reaching the point where we understand that our physical and emotional impulses are indeed two separate engines, ones which don't necessarily have anything to do with the other. In any event, a very good film, with a great performance by Liam Neeson, but ultimately, not the best film I saw this week.

-"Beyond the Sea" - Much to my surprise, THIS was my favorite film of the ones I've seen in the past four days. Kevin Spacey, one of our best actors, directed, co-wrote, and starred in this musical biopic of Bobby Darin, and it's obviously a labor of love, and the end result is one of the most joyous films I've seen in a good long while. Telling the life story of Darin in the style of a 50's musical, the film is wall-to-wall with Darin's songs, often with elaborate dance numbers, and all performed by Spacey himself, proving to be a very good singer, as well. (Not quite Darin's level, to be sure, but close enough that he does every song justice.) The movie's subject seems to lack a necessary arc, as he had great success, a quick fall, and passed away very young, but Spacey finds one, and gives the story tremendous energy and enthusiasm, coupled with wonderfully entertaining musical numbers and fun performances. This film is just a ball from beginning to end, and reads like a true valentine to an entertainer and an era. It may not be the BEST film of the year, but it may well be my favorite.

In summary, see 'em all, "Beyond the Sea" if you can only see one, but all fine choices and great times at the movies. And there's still "Million Dollar Baby" yet to come!

(P.S. - Just on a side note, for a work-related holiday party, I did the unthinkable and sang some karaoke. The song? "Lose Yourself" by Eminem. No, I'm not kidding. Lost my breath three times while doing it. There is NO place to breathe in that song!)

(P.P.S. - A hearty goodbye and rest in peace to Jerry Orbach, a great performer. And Reggie White, a great football player.)

(P.P.P.S. - My thoughts and deepest condolences to the families of the countless victims of the tragic disaster in Asia. I will be donating some cash to the Red Cross in support as soon as I have the money to do so, and I encourage everyone who can spare it to do the same.)

Definition of "The Elite Media"

So, I'm on the blog of Scott Keith a few days ago, and he posts a quick review of WWE's Smackdown show in Iraq. In it, he criticizes Vince McMahon for so continuously using his show for shameless self-promotion, even while he's doing such a noble thing as offering entertainment to the troops. This, I agree with. But of course you can't bring up such a thing as the war without stirring up majorly deep feeling amongst folks, so now that post has erupted into a major pro/anti war debate. I did post my thoughts, and must admit that I am cheered to see that, while my comments did not silence debate, no one who has replied to my post has tried to refute any of the points I made in it, simply tried to talk around them and ignore what I said. So, I take that as a minor victory.

Funnier still, the major conservative in the conversation has begun to rant about how the "elite media" tried to stretch the truth to get Kerry into office, which was thwarted by the virtuous and pure "new media." Here, for the record, is his exact definition of what constitutes "elite" and "new":

"The Elite Press -- ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, New York Times, Dallas Morning News, LA Times, Boston Globe, TIME, Newsweek, US News & World Report, USA Today, etc.

"The New Press -- Fox, Drudge Report, NewsMax, Wall Street Journal, Talk Radio, The Bloggers"

Get it? Every source that is naturally right-wing biased is the "New Press," every relatively neutral source is "Elite." Isn't that great? That way, you can just ignore anything that is said by any reputable source, because they're obviously "elite," and turn to the "new media" for your salvation. Isn't that a great way of looking at the world?

Any one who holds among their paragons of journalistic virtue TALK RADIO seriously needs to open their ears, IMO.

Andy and Geekin'!!!

Back in 1996, I was a writer for a little online wrestling newsletter. In the course of writing for said sheet, I made a few long-distance friends, among them a young man by the name of Andy from near Atlanta. Really, really cool guy, who I had many a great long-distance phone convos about wrestling and life and stuff with. Heck, I even went down to Georgia to visit him for a vacation, and he to BG to do the same.

Then, somehow, I didn't get in touch with him for, well, years. I dunno what happened, but I kept forgetting to write him, then he wrote me, and I tried to write back, then one day I said, "I should really e-mail him," and I did, and the message got bounced back at me, because he wasn't at that addy anymore. I tried a few times over the next few years to find him, to no avail. All the while, I felt horrible, because I had lost a great friend, and it was my fault. I kept his old AOL name on my AIM account, but I never saw him.

Until tonight, when suddenly, that name was highlighted on my AIM screen. And, sure enough, there he was. We didn't get long to talk, as he was busy, but, man, was it great to hear from him again. And he's even doing really well. How well? THIS well...

http://www.geekinmovie.com/

This is the website for the independent movie Andy wrote the script for. Now, imagine this scenario: you lose touch with a guy for a few years, you come back, and he's in the middle of having his script produced. Yowsa. :) He sent me a copy of the script, and I'm gonna get back to him as soon as I've had a chance to read it. But having read Andy's work before, I'm sure it's great.

But beyond everything, man, it's great to hear from him again. I really, really hope we can keep in touch for much longer this time around.

Man, the barn burns down, I see Heather for the first time as a married woman, and now I suddenly get in touch with Andy again. 2004 is not ending quietly, that's for damn sure.

Why I've been gone (a/k/a the fire)

Been a while, I admit, since an update on either this or the 3D, but this has been a chaotic few days, in more than a few ways. Let's start with the fire.

Coming home from a movie on Monday night, I got a call from both my mom and my brother telling me that my Grandma's barn was on fire. I got home to find a line of police cars blocking the road, and I had to come the long way around to get to the folks' house, where I found Grandma and Mom waiting. By the time I got there, the barn was already pretty much gone, with only the wooden framework left standing. (No official word yet on how it happened, BTW.)

Grandma was shaken and occasionally in tears, understandably, but everyone is fine, thank goodness. The barn had been left largely unused since my grandfather's retirement from farming a decade ago, only sporadically used to house his old pickup truck (which had recently been moved to the smaller secondary barn, which was relatively undamaged) and my old Buick Century (which was also moved out for unknown reasons). Recently the barn had been housing the motorcycles and ATVs of a few family friends, which were in the barn at the time of the fire and thus were lost. I also had a few boxes of things in the barn left over from moving out of the apartment a few years back, but nothing that was very important, to the best of my foggy recollection. But, again, no one was injured, the fire was put out before it spread to the house or anything else, so ultimately, it coulda been a lot worse.

Weirdest part of the whole thing: the fire happened on December 20th, which is the second anniversary of my Grandfather's passing.

Beyond that, work gets more hectic as we get bigger movies in, and I'm trying to get out to see friends before the holidays. Saw "Series of Unfortunate Events" with the lovely and talented Heather Waterfield, and the equally lovely and talented Amanda Myers, as well as Amanda's sister Katie. Overall, it's hard for me to say I "enjoyed" it, as it's such a downer of a flick that it's hard to really say that it was entertaining. This is a movie that lives up to its title. Visually the movie is stunning, but on a plot level I just didn't connect with it. Doesn't help that everyone in the flick that wasn't either under the age of 15 or played by Jim Carrey was written to be as dense as a plank of wood - no doubt about it, we're on the verge of the Idiot Plot, here. On the whole, as good as some elements of the film are, I just can't recommend seeing this family flick in a season where "The Incredibles" and "Polar Express" are still out there.

Also got out to see the Shannons for the first time in forever, and exchange gifts. Thanks again for season 3 of 24, guys!

Meantime, tonight is the big Christmas party at the theatre, though with the weather reports I'm not certain I'm going. Might try to hit BG, though, to see a few more friends...we'll see. Meantime, I'll update sooner next time. Promise!

Let us all take a moment to celebrate Life Day...

Click here. Now.



For those of you who need convincing, the link takes you to a page on WrestleCrap.com, a webpage that specializes in covering the worst of pro-wrestling. But this article ain't about a wrestling angle. No, no. This reviews a far more painful and legendary moment in pop culture history...ladies and gentlemen, can you face the horror that is...LUMPY?!?!?!

My Top 11 (because 12 would be too many, and 10 too few)

Evaluating as we get toward the end of the year at the movies, since we're rapidly approaching award season and I wanna know where I stand. (Keeping in mind that I'm really looking forward to seeing "Finding Neverland," "Million Dollar Baby" and "The Aviator," as well.) This was, in retrospect, a pretty average year for films - so many came out, so few worth remembering. I can't say I really ever had a flat-out BAD experience at the movies this year, but I had so few truly great ones, as well. Here are, in alphabetical order, 11 flicks I saw this year that I won't soon forget:

"Before Sunset" - A wonderful sequel to a wonderful movie, this picks up 9 years after the original "Before Sunrise," revisiting the characters created by Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. A tremendously insightful and moving film, with terrific dialogue and performances.

"Collateral" - Heck of a year for Jamie Foxx, on this list twice. In addition, those who say that Tom Cruise is a poor actor have simply been ignoring all information to the contrary, such as this, his steely-eyed portrayal of a man who debates his warped morals with the equally-excellent Foxx.

"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" - The year's single most daring and creative film, written by the awesome Charlie Kaufman (who else?). Remarkably entertaining and insightful about relationships, with a great cast and effects, to boot.

"Fahrenheit 9/11" - You can say whatever you want about Michael Moore - there can be little doubt that this was THE most debated film of the year, which means it did its job. And lost in the political shuffle is just how ENTERTAINING a movie this is - funny, moving, and in an odd way, inspiring.

"The Incredibles" - Pixar is just plain awesome, and Disney is losing their biggest current asset with its departure. A wonderfully entertaining adventure that is also surprisingly serious about its story.

"Kill Bill, Volume 2" - If Volume 1 was all kinetic action, Volume 2 is all story and characters. I was able to see both volumes in one night on the big screen - twice - and as a whole it stands among the most entertaining of movie enterprises ever made. Exciting, entertaining, and fun, yet deep and intelligent, too. In an era of easy-listening moviemaking, Quentin Tarantino is playing rock 'n roll.

"Open Water" - Horror is not a mad slasher killing teenagers. True horror lies within - a sense of hopelessness, the dread of being caught in an inescapable situation, and not only not finding help, but being ignored and forgotten. That's what this movie is all about, a low-budget horror flick that goes deeper into the human psyche than a hundred gore-fests can ever hope to go.

"Ray" - A wonderful performance in a wonderful film about a legendary man. If Jamie Foxx had been off, even a millimeter, in his portrayal, the whole thing would have tumbled like a house of cards. But he's a rock, masterfully capturing the physical and emotional presence of the great artist, and gives the film its emotional anchor.

"Shaolin Soccer" - Yes, I said "Shaolin Soccer." The year's most flat-out fun movie, a Chinese import that lampoons the conventions of both Kung Fu action flicks and underdog sports stories, while somehow generating some genuinely warm moments of human comedy. And the effects are terrifically entertaining. If you missed out on this one, please give it a shot - it's well worth the rental.

"Sideways" - A wonderfully warm, human comedy, about two men at a crossroads in life and have no idea which way to go. If you're hesitant, don't let its status as an "art film" keep you away - I laughed more at this film than any other this year. It's still playing up at Super Cinemas in Toledo - catch it while you can!

"Spider-Man 2" - I liked it the first time I saw it, but didn't REALLY like it. Then I saw it again. And again and again and again. And it's standing up to the ultimate test of all great movies - it improves with each subsequent viewing. Great story and performances, plus tremendous action sequences, and one of the single most remarkable special effects creations ever - Doc Ock's tentacles.

Don't Panic?

Okay, this update's pretty much just for Heather, as she's the biggest H2G2 fan I know, but after posting the bit about the Hitchhiker's trailer, I decided to do a little snooping on imdb to find some info about the flick, as I had yet to actually do. While Adams is still listed as author of the "first screenplay," three other writers are credited with working on it. In addition, here's your cast:

Arthur Dent: Martin Freeman (Relative unknown, far as I can tell. Last seen in "Shaun of the Dead.")
Ford Prefect: Mos Def (Yes, THAT Mos Def. Um, okay...)
Zaphod Beeblebrox: Sam Rockwell (Pretty good choice, and I like Sam, so...)
Trillian: Zooey Deschanel (Not a big name by any means, seen in "Elf" and "Almost Famous" as the sister)
Slartibartfast: Bill Nighy (Long list of credits, but I'm not really familiar with him. Was in "Underworld" and "Love, Actually")
Marvin the Android: Warwick Davis (Yes, Willow is playing Marvin. Uh...)

Well, that's certainly an...um...interesting group. I'll let the bigger Adams fans talk this one over, but...is this what you guys had in mind?

(Oh, and Heather? It gives me great pleasure to let you know that Humma Kavula is being played...by John Malkovich. (Everyone else? That sound you just heard was a scream from the general area of Sylvania, Ohio. :) ))

Christmas shopping with the person you're shopping for

It's so much easier when they're there to guide your hand. I mean, sure, the look of surprise is gone on Christmas morning, but at least you know they want what you're giving, and won't be disappointed. And my brother, the Lord-of-the-Rings-&-Tom-Hanks-in-an-Airport fanatic that he is, knew exactly what he wanted. (He'd also pulled the same trick with me last week, as I went with him to pick up the Matrix set.)

Everyone else is much trickier. Now, I'm not about to go bragging about what my list is getting, lest I learn a lot of them have suddenly found this site. (Yeah, right.) But I will say that I'm a bit more confident in my gifts this year than I have been in years past. Except for the Shannons. I don't have a clue what I'm getting them. (Except for Heather, since she flat-out told me what she wanted, too, although hers is...a little...unique. If she lets me tell ya, I will.)

In other news:

The new position at the theatre is really cool. I feel like I'm responsible for something, like I'm kinda supervising myself, and I'm loving it. Also means I'm doing performance-related stuff, too, which is great. Can't wait to do my schtick in front of a big weekend crowd.

Haven't updated the 3D in a few days. Sorry, just keep forgetting. Back on it tonight, by gum! Yee haw!

Abby updated her site again! The link's on the sidebar! Go now!

Saw Dodgeball last night. Some really, really funny stuff in there. Not great, but good. If you see the DVD, and see the "alternate ending," I ask you - is it just me, or is that ending a joke? Not a joke as in bad, a joke as in, a joke? Because if the movie was gonna end like that, it woulda been, like, 15 minutes shorter, and also left about a million plot threads hanging. I don't buy it.

Weird fact someone brought up in a Roger Ebert movie glossary definition - every feature-length James Cameron movie since, like, 1984, has began either with the letter A or the letter T. Seriously, check it out: Terminator. Aliens. The Abyss. (Double whammy.) Terminator 2. True Lies. Titanic. Only Ghosts of the Abyss breaks the trend, and that was a 45-minute IMAX doc. I wonder if he had gotten the rights to Spider-Man, would he have redubbed him Tarantula-Man to keep the streak alive?

Time's running out on Holiday Card sending! If you want one, ship me an address! Please!

Something I noticed only upon seeing the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trailer for the 10th time today - in the top left corner of the screen, the stars form the number 42. Hee hee...

My thoughts are still with all my friends in mid-exam week! Kick much butt, mi amigas and amigos!

Much thanks to the lovely and talented Megan Grandstaff for reposting that wonderful article on "nice guys" to her journal yesterday. As someone who fancies himself as just such a nice guy, the piece made me smile and even brought a tear of recognition to my eye. And as always, I keep hope alive that, for me, a day will come. But until then, I will just be the best damn friend I can to everyone in my life. Love you all!

When you don't have a voice, you don't have a choice...

So I was awoken yesterday by the lovely and talented Diane Shannon , asking me if there were any tree farms around BG. An interesting way to greet the day, to be sure. But more interesting was the fact that I could barely answer her - my voice was even worse than it normally is first thing in the morning. A little drinking of water and a few hours and it was back to a functional level, enough to get through work that night.

Then came this morning, and I had NOTHING. Matt visited me first thing in the day and a whisper was all I could offer. A few hours of rest and drinking hot tea have brought it back somewhat, but I ain't taking any chances. I've been through this once before during the Hydro years, and I forced it because I had to sing, and paid for it in having no voice whatsoever for a few weeks whenever I wasn't on stage. (Ask Heather - our conversations during that time were astoundingly one-sided. I mean, even more so than usual.)

So, I'm keeping quiet for a while. Especially since I kinda have to talk at work. So, if you call, expect to hear my oh-so-awesome voice-mail message rather than me actually picking up the phone. I'll be on AIM most of the day if folks wanna get in touch, and also checking my e-mail, because until I get sick and my fingers shrink as a result, they'll never be able to take away this form of self-expression. I can still type, by gum!

Q'n'D Review - Ocean's Twelve

If I said that "Ocean's Twelve" was a fun ride, but not quite up to the level of the first film, that'd be accurate. If I said that the movie felt like a bunch of solitary cool moments that didn't really add up to a big picture the way the first film did, that'd be accurate, too. But in the end, it doesn't matter. Because even if the whole rest of the movie was weak (which it isn't), there's one bit alone that is worth the price of admission. I cannot spoil anything for you - I will only say it involves the introduction of the 12th member of Ocean's Twelve to the con, and leave it at that. But man, is that brilliant.

The rest of the film? It's like hanging out with a bunch of old friends for an evening. Nothing much important happens, really, but it's a lot of fun to be there. It's pretty clear everyone in the cast had fun making it, and so we in the audience have fun watching them have fun. It ain't as good as the first one, but the actors, the individual moments (especially, as noted, the big one), and the fun dialogue make it a trip worth taking.

My personal favorite line? "The guy who's doing Potsie is brilliant." Trust me, you have to be there.

111 Good Things (A Repost from Da Old Blog)

(Those of you who remember the first blog will remember this post, as it originally appeared there over a year ago. I'm reposting it here for two reasons: one, because I like it a lot and wanted to see how people would react to it again, and two, to challenge everyone out there - make your own list! I'd love to see it!)

Now, a few years back, a show went up in the BGSU Shorts Festival entitled "111 Good Things." The idea behind this was four characters standing on the stage and simply going back and forth naming, duh, 111 Good Things. 20 minutes of characters standing there, talking back and forth, naming cool people, events, and things in life, the things that make life worth living.

Then, the punch line. At about #102 or something, everyone falls silent, and one of the characters says, "I can’t think of any more." They all say, that’s impossible, there must be more. But they stand there in silence. And the show ends.

Now, I don’t remember who wrote this show, nor do I remember who directed it. But I do remember one thing: This ending pi$$ed me off to no end.

I guess the ending was meant to be a searing comment on our joyless existence by claiming that we can’t name even so small an amount of 111 truly cool things. What irony. BS, I thought, all it meant was that the author wasn’t trying. If they honestly felt that not just one, but FOUR PEOPLE couldn’t make up such a list, they really had a pessimistic attitude about the world, and found an extremely unconvincing example to express it. Now, I am pessimistic a lot more than people realize, but even I wouldn’t be so presumptuous as to claim that it is impossible to list 111 Good Things in my own life.

To prove my point - and to give me a little bit of perspective as I was writing this yesterday, on my birthday - here, off the top of my head, and in no order whatsoever, are 111 Good Things.

1. Mick Foley winning the world title
2. Eating a bag of peanuts at the ballpark
3. Having ice cream at Pee Wee’s with a good friend
4. 2001: A Space Odyssey
5. Jim Cornette interviews
6. Mystery Science Theater 3000
7. Harry Chapin
8. Niles and Frasier having one of their hilarious debates
9. Bowling for Columbine
10. Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick on SportsCenter
11. A cold glass of diet soda on a hot day
12. Bruce Campbell DVD commentaries
13. Rhapsody in Blue
14. Tajiri v. Psicosis
15. Picasso at the Lapin Agile getting a standing ovation its second night
16. Long talks in the car with Jeanine
17. Chris Jericho winning the world title
18. Honey BBQ wings at KFC
19. "Let the River Run" by Carly Simon
20. Long talks with in the Union with Jessica
21. Spider-Man
22. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
23. Challenging Lindsey to a movie trivia game
24. Watching a PPV at Ziggy Zoomba’s with the whole crew
25. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
26. Having lunch at a Chinese Buffet with nothing but a good book
27. Stewie: "111-1111. Lois? Damn. 111-1112. Lois? Damn!"
28. "Weird Al" Yankovic
29. Long talks with Heather at her kitchen table
30. Scott Keith reviewing wrestling
31. Roger Ebert reviewing a bad movie
32. Citizen Kane
33. Talking on AIM with Hanna, Jess, Mell, Heather W., Linds, Sarah, J...everybody
34. The Honeymooners
35. Cedar Point on a perfect day
36. Cartman: "Respect my f***ing authoritah!!!"
37. Black Adder (seasons 2-4)
38. WrestleCrap.com
39. Finding Unicron at Target
40. Miniature Golf with Abby
41. Playing Delta Green with a good team and a great games master
42. Gorilla Monsoon/Jesse Ventura Commentary
43. A long drive singing along to CDs
44. American Gladiators
45. Going shopping for comic books with Greg
46. A long afternoon nap
47. Long talks with Melissa Bennett in her apartment
48. Garfield
49. Christmas morning
50. Hanging out with my brother
51. A Dave Barry column
52. O Fortuna
53. Playing board games
54. Buying board games
55. Hosting board game nights
56. The BGSU Royal Rumble
57. Eva Marie Saint: Former Theta Hardcore Champion
58. Long talk over pizza with Amanda
59. Press Your Luck
60. ECW
61. Mohammad Ali
62. WrestleMania (except 2000)
63. The look on someone’s face when you’ve fooled them with a magic trick
64. Match Game
65. Power: A Federal Theatre Project Living Newspaper
66. Finding a new VCR board game at a garage sale
67. The ZAZ comedies (Airplane, Top Secret, Naked Gun)
68. The Far Side
69. Star Trek: The Next Generation
70. Walking around a mall with no money, just looking
71. Seeing a movie opening night with a bunch of friends
72. Edgar Allen Poe
73. Russian Roulette (the game show)
74. That moment when you think of the absolutely PERFECT rhyme when you’re writing a song
75. The Founders Room, 2001-2002: Jeanine, Megan, Courtney. Jodie....
76. The Founders Room, 2002-2003: Jessica, Hanna, Mell, Sarah, Megan, Caitlin
77. Getting a letter from a friend
78. Finishing up a big project
79. You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown
80. Chocolate Milk
81. The Black Hole
82. Iron Chef
83. GoodFellas
84. The Plastic Shatners
85. "The Greatest American Hero" Theme Song
86. Metal Gear Solid
87. Billy Joel
88. Have a Nice Day: A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks
89. 24
90. Oscar night
91. Hanging in the Obee on a lazy afternoon
92. A hug from someone you really love
93. The Muppets
94. The Twilight Zone
95. Seeing someone you haven’t seen in a long time
96. Beautiful red hair on a beautiful woman
97. Minority Report
98. Watching Breakfast at Wimbledon
99. Seeing a wrestling event live
100. Waiting offstage just before you go on
101. Crossainwiches at Burger King
102. Walking into a Media Play with money to burn
103. Crab rangoon
104. "Jack Burton. Me."
105. Finding an amazing bargain at a used record store
106. Going bowling with friends, no matter how much you suck
107. Getting that 4-line-clearing Tetris when you most need it
108. Seeing a great stand-up comedian live with a great audience
109. The Midnight Readings
110. Winning a big auction on EBay
111. Love

These are a few of my favorite peeps...

Having a car of my own again gives me a few opportunities not available to me a scant few days ago. Like, say, after work, stopping by the post office and getting most of my holiday cards mailed, and then stopping by BG and getting a chance to see folks for the first time in forever, and leaving them some cheer by dropping off their cards, as well.

First stop was Amanda's, who it is always great to see. I didn't stay too long, as she looked tired and preoccupied with work, but I did get to drop her card and give her a big 'ol bearhug. Hope the coming weeks treat her wonderfully.

Then it was to the Pond, where, to my sorrow, not many people were home, but to my joy, Jessica was. I haven't had the chance to hang out with Jess nearly enough as of late, as she is one of my favorite people to talk to (well, one of my favorite people, period). No matter how things are or how the world is treating me, I can never come away from a conversation with Jess feeling down - her wondefully positive attitude and "up" personality makes everything seem just a little nicer. I was truly happy to get a chance to chat with her for a while about life, the universe, and everything, and certainly hope to get in much more chat time with her in the days to come.

Then it was off to 5th Street, stopping by Greg and Ryan's in time to see the end (last 20-30 minutes) of the extended "Return of the King," which Greg naturally was able to rent in advance because of his place of work. What I saw wasn't too terribly different from the original cut of the film, a few longer moments here and there, and Aragorn singing. Um, yeah. Oh, and the end of the credits now has the "original members" of the LOTR fan club listed, as well, which I would guess single-handedly adds about 10 minutes to the run time of the flick. I mean, the names are in alphabetical order, and they started, and me and Greg and Ryan had a convo about some other stuff for a couple minutes, then we turn back to the screen, and the list was still in the B's. I mean, geez, there's being grateful to your fans, and there's...

Then, after dropping off a card at Steph and J's, it was down to Julio and John's, where I learned (too late to do anything) that it was John's birthday. (Happy B-Day, dude!) I also was invited to play a game of Mario Party 6 (6? Already?), but I declined, watching them play instead. It looks...well, like every Mario Party before it has looked. But still fun.

All-in-all, a great evening with some great people. I love ya, everyone! Hope to do it again soon!

The Future of an Art Form

I need to re-watch the show to make sure what I'm about to say is indeed appropriate, but I figure I might as well write about what I'm feeling now.

Everyone knows that my first love is professional wrestling. What everyone may not know is my apathy toward the art has become pretty pronounced as of late. I rarely if ever watch the WWE's shows anymore, not only because I find the product boring and repetitive, but downright offensive (the WWE's new Arab-American villains). Above all else, the WWE is downright unwilling to take chances, to be daring - not just in writing, but in the actual in-ring product. No one is allowed to truly stand out, to be great. Everyone has to dumb-down their work to fit in to the main event scene, rather than the main eventers (i.e., Vince's son-in-law Triple H) speeding up to catch everyone else. No one cares in the ring, why should anyone care in the stands?

Tonight, I ordered a PPV from TNA Wrestling entitled "Turning Point," their second 3-hour show. And while it was a good show, not great, most of the way (with a forgettable main event), the last match of the night captured something, and made me feel, for the first time in a while, really excited about wrestling again. A tag team match in a cage, with four men whose names wrestling fans should remember: Christopher Daniels, Elix Skipper, Chris Harris and James Storm.

These men, WWE's brain trust wouldn't even give the time of day, because they are "too small" to be marketable. In the world of Vince McMahon, we want steroid-laden muscleheads who may lack talent, but as long as they make for a great promotional photo, it doesn't matter. But these four men, in one match, put more on the line and fought harder to entertain the fans than any four men I've seen in a long, long time. Hard-hitting and innovative moves. Amazing high-flying leaps and huge risks. A great and easy-to-follow storyline - two teams hate each other, and the losing team can never tag again. End result was an amazing contest - the best match of the year.

And I saw something else, too - fans who cared. They may not have been cheering for every moment, but they spoke in other ways. "This is awesome!" the chants rang. And, "Best match ever!" And "TNA!" So reminiscent of the last time I can recall a fanbase caring that much about a product - then, the chant was "ECW!"

TNA isn't that good yet - there's way too much silliness yet in the booking, and reliance on old stars (Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Randy Savage all appeared on the same show). But there is something here that is so lacking in WWE right now - a passion. Passion for this business, for telling a story through physical action, for giving the audience thrills and inspiring their admiration. And right now, TNA is, in my opinion, the best national choice for those of us who still, deep down, share that passion.

Christopher Daniels. Elix Skipper. Chris Harris. James Storm. Remember their names. And if you'd like, I have the tape of the show, and would love to introduce them to you. :)

You Live, You Learn

Each day, you learn a little something. For example, today *I* learned...

...that when you try to transfer a title to your newly-purchased car over, they expect you to pay all the taxes on the purchase at the same time. I only had 25 bucks at the time, so no title transferred. (BTW, forgot to mention - I have new car! 1992 Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable. Runs well, for the 800 bucks I paid for it.)

...that when you try to get a temporary tag, at least, you can't get one unless you have something that proves your Social Security number. I didn't have one, so no temp tags, either. ARRGH!!!!

...that some people can be just plain rude, no matter how nice you are to them. But still, if it's your job to be nice, you stay nice.

...that as soon as your theatre gets something nice installed, like leather seats, someone is gonna try and wreck it, by, like, ripping one of the seats open with a knife.

...that Heather and Mark got married today. Congrats, my dear friend!

...a few more friends' mailing addresses for Christmas cards. Yay! (If you wanna get one, let me know soon!)

...that a friend's Xanga page, changed into seasonal colors like, say, red and green, can be rendered pretty much unreadable. (Miss, I love ya, but please change the colors soon. I read it for a few minutes and my eyes hurt for a few more.)

...that now EVERYONE is doing their version of Heather W's "What I Did" list, so I feel like I'm part of a cool trend. :)

Q'n'D Reviews: Sideways and The Life and Death of Peter Sellers

Double your pleasure, double your fun, two reviews for the price of one!

"Sideways," which I saw this afternoon at the Super Cinemas in Toledo, is a film that is so wonderfully hard to categorize it's a little like a miracle. It's a comedy. But it's also a romance. But it's also a dramatic character study. But it's also...a terrific film, which is all that matters. Stars Paul Giamatti (who finally has a breakout role) as Miles and Thomas Haden Church (Lowell from Wings and the short-lived but much-loved Ned and Stacey) as Jack, friends who hit the road for a wine-tasting tour in the week leading up to Jack's impending wedding. More than that, I should not say, as to spoil any of the journey would be unfair to anyone else seeing the film. I will only add a few simple observations: one, that this is a tremendously entertaining movie, two, that there is a lot of truth and remarkable observation about human nature in here, and three, there is one scene in particular (the one with the car - you'll know which one) that had me laughing loud and long enough that I was almost embarrassed. Almost. Heck, I'm still chuckling right now. If you can, see this one, and soon.

"The Life and Death of Peter Sellers," which aired on HBO tonight (I taped it for Heather), is also a good film, but I'm not sure I can say I enjoyed it. It certainly is an unflinching portrayal of one of the most legendary of cinema actors, and Geoffrey Rush is without question the perfect actor for the role. But I'm not sure the film's subject is one that cried out to be told. Sellers, as the film portrays him, comes off as an overdeveloped child with no emotional handle on his life, who was cruel to everyone around him, and who found no joy in his existence. This all may or may not be true (I'm a big fan of Sellers and his films, but not well read on the man himself), but did it need to be made into a movie? There are no lessons to be taken from this telling of Sellers's life, no angle or path which makes for a compelling narrative. We meet a pretty unpleasent man, spend two hours with him, and the movie is over. What carries us along is Rush's brilliant work in the title role, as he so wholly embodies Sellers, both the good and the bad, that the film is never depressing, though its subject matter is. On the whole, I'm not sorry I watched it, and I acknowledge that it is, indeed, a good movie - I'm just not sure what its goal was.

Whoa.

First things first, the lovely and talented Miss Abby Bollenbacher has updated her Being Miss Northwestern Ohio blog with a fascinating entry about the nature of the Miss America scholorship program and what goes into its make-up. Highly encourage all of ya to head over and check it out, and encourage her to leave more stuff...I think Abby could really do well using her blog to educate people on the nature of the system she has devoted so much of her time to becoming successful in. Cool stuff!

Secondly, check this out.

Yes, they're releasing a TEN-DISC SET of the Matrix trilogy. Now, before you start complaining about how the last film wasn't up to par and as a result you won't even be giving this set the time of day, check out everything you get:

Disc 1: Matrix 1, with 2 new commentaries
Disc 2: Matrix Revisited, an excellent documentary on the making of the first, released separately a few years ago
Disc 3: Reloaded, with 2 new commentaries
Disc 4: Reloaded Revisted, same thing for the sequel, also includes all the 23 extra scenes filmed for the Matrix video game
Disc 5: Revolutions, with 2 new commentaries
Disc 6: Revolutions Revisited
Disc 7: The Animatrix, the complete DVD of Anime shorts, which is wicked cool
Disc 8: The Roots of the Matrix, 2 documentaries about the inspirations of the trilogy
Disc 9: "The Burly Man Chronicles," a disc of 21 featurettes about the people behind the scenes - craftspeople, actors and so on
Disc 10: The Zion Archive, a collection concept art, music videos, trailers and so forth

All this for only $55.94 if you're buying from Amazon. I don't care what you thought of that last chapter, now THAT is a SET. Pretty much everything you'd ever want about the Matrix, for less than it would cost to buy the three movies separately now. A steal, says I. Hope my brother sees it the same way when I ask for it for X-Mas... :)

The "Did I Do" List...

Snagged this from Heather W's blog, 'cuz thought it was a cool idea, so here ya go (with ones I have done in bold, and comments in parenthesis)...

1. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
2. Swam with wild dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid (Does the MGM Grand count?)
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
8. Said 'I love you' and meant it (A few times, actually.)
9. Hugged a tree (Um, I don't think I have...and if I did, it was strictly platonic)
10. Done a striptease (Uh, no. Please, no one get that image in your head. Give ya nightmares.)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise (A few times, actually.)
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game (Huge for me - a few Indians games, and SummerSlam)
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables (Well, my mother's...)
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon (Once upon a time at a fair...)
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity (Damn MDA Telethon...)
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope (For Astronomy class)
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill (Oh, come on, who hasn't?)
31. Asked out a stranger (Well, a sort-of stranger...long story, I tell you all sometime.)
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can (A man can get pretty frustrated at the end of a long shift.)
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy (No comment.)
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar (Not really, though I have given to quite a few...)
41. Ridden a roller coaster (Only the Iron Dragon and Mill Race)
42. Hit a home run (Well, in a video game, but there's no specifics so I'm counting it!)
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days (Studying for any final, I think, qualifies.)
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking (Pretty much any time I dance.)
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day (Any Valentine's Day. You ladies remember Geoff, right? :) )
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment (My best days are like this.)
48. Had two hard drives for your computer (One installed, one on the desk.)
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts (My first job I loved. Also only job I was fired from. Coincedence?)
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced (Long story. Her name starts with a K.)
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (Whenever I get more money than my bills demand, I'm satisfied.)
53. Had amazing friends (All of you. SMOOCH!)
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign (No, but I had a friend once WANT me to steal one...hmm, Miss NWO? :) )
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip (Once every year. Ask Elizabeth, Jess, Jeanine, Mell...)
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach (Every condo at least once.)
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love (Kinda still ongoing. But not nearly as bad as it has been.)
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with
66. Visited Japan
67. Bench pressed your own weight (There are times I think that Barry Bonds couldn't bench my weight.)
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records (Most of my DVDs and CDs have been alphabetized. Then they get messed up again.)
70. Pretended to be a superhero (I had a Spider-Man mask as a kid, and also there was that one Hawaiian Day where I went around as "Captain Aloha," with my sidekick Poi (Julio) and Miss Wanaleia (Jodie). (Say the last name aloud to get the joke.))
71. Sung karaoke (Actually supervised karaoke at the Hydro, and performed myself once - "Superheroes" from RHPS.)
72. Lounged around in bed all day (Some of my worst days were like this.)
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud (Lots as a kid.)
78. Played in the rain (Ditto.)
79. Gone to a drive-in theater (The Sundance Kid by Maumee Bay. If you've never been, do so. As soon as possible.)
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it (I have a lot of regrets. But there are a few that should be bigger than they are.)
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your diary has discovered your diary (Just this week, actually...)
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business (Technically self-employed as a performer for the Hydro, so I'm counting it.)
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites (Not quite ancient, but a lot of historical sites like Gettysburg and Indian burial grounds)
87. Taken a martial arts class (Way back as a kid, from my dad's friend.)
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman (Who wrote this list?!?!?)
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight (Not D&D, but Delta Green with the group.)
90. Gotten married (No, but once someone asked Jeanine if I was her husband. No joke.)
91. Been in a movie (Yep. Student film. Less said, the better.)
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have (A few times, I think.)
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch (Oh, yeah. Best kind.)
99. Won first prize in a costume contest (Back in elementary school. Also still feel I was robbed when I went as "Guy on a Milk Carton"...)
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert" (Been on radio a few times...)
105. Got flowers for no reason (Nope. Give 'em all the time, never get 'em.)
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage (Duh, naturally.)
110. Been to Las Vegas (Hell yeah, love Vegas. Hate gambling, but love Vegas.)
111. Recorded music (This one I'd really like to change.)
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live (Wha?...)
116. Bought a house (Well, Castle Greyskull...)
117. Been in a combat zone (140 years or so after the conflict ended, but still...)
118. Buried one/both of your parents in your backyard (What kind of childhood did the writer of this list HAVE?!?!)
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently (Still pursuing my dream of learning how to say, "I don't speak this language, do you speak English?" in every language.)
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone (Never fisticuffs, but verbal fights.)
123. Bounced a check (A few too many times, for my taste.)
124. Performed in Rocky Horror (Been to the show a few times, but never performed. Would have loved to be Dr. Scott...)
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy (Bought a He-Man, and Greg gave me an Optimus Prime.)
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did (Both my grandfathers fought in WWII...)
132. Called or written your Congressional Representative
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over (No, but considered it a few times.
134. ...more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking (Lots.)
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication (Well, The BG News...)
141. Lost over 100 pounds (Close - more like 80 or 90.)
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart (Don't think so, but if anyone wants to correct me, please do...)
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job (See above.)
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone (Toe. Also dislocated my knee. Still pops out with no notice. Not fun.)
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol (Not a chance.)
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse (Camp back in Elementary school. Loved every second.)
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours (How else do you recover from an all-nighter of studying?)
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground (Okay, whoever wrote this list seriously needs to seek help.)
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper (A few times, actually. Once for getting my name in a book, another for winning a state speech contest.)
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about (I'm a persuasive speaker, I think.)
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school (After being suspended. Long story.)
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name (Only on Valentine's Day. :) )
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read (Lots and lots of Poe.)
182. Dined in a restaurant and stole silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch (Writing, basically.)
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt (For a few things.)
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language (Guy at work speaks geek. It's been a slow process.)
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language (Well, HTML.)
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream (Picasso.)
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair (Sorta. Church social. Did magic.)
196. Dyed your hair
197. Been a DJ (Hydro gig. I got better as I went along but still pretty much stunk.)
198. Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199. Written your own role playing game (Well, maybe...does the Theta Hardcore Title count?)
200. Been arrested

Sports, Steroids, and the "Me First" Impulse

I have a few things I'd like to talk about, but in lieu of offending people with my thoughts on...certain issues, I'd like to turn my attention to the world of sports. Specifically, the revelation today that Jason Giambi admitted to a federal grand jury last December that he did, indeed, take steroids for three seasons, and as recently as 2003.

You heard all the hand-wringing and wild speculation from other talking heads on the implications of this on the game of baseball, and on Giambi's career, and potentially on Barry Bonds' career (since it was his trainer, apparently, who gave Giambi the stuff), and so on. But one of the most interesting angles on the whole thing was asked by Dan Patrick on his radio show this afternoon: do you care?

I naturally expected SOMEONE in the media to equate the scenario with wrestling (seems like WWE and steroids are concepts that go hand-in-hand in modern society, I'm sad to say), but Dan's argument/question actually brought perspective and intelligence to the comparison. He pointed out that people don't really seem to care whether or not wrestlers do indeed use steroids, since in wrestling, an entertainment-focused media, the focus is not on competition, or on an honest display of talent. (Naturally, I would find some point upon which to argue this, but the basic statement is sound.) But has baseball - and I would broaden the question to all of sports - reached a point where the entertainment value is more important than the competitive aspects? If we go to a ballpark, do we wanna see a great game, or do we wanna see someone hit one out? Do we care about seeing teams battle, or individual theatrics?

This is a fascinating question. If you look a little closer at the implications of what it's asking, you can see a virtual microcosm of the struggle in modern sport between the triumph of team competition and the marketing of individual "stars," who through their theatrical presentation seem hell-bent on drawing attention to themselves, at the expense of their team's cause. I look at a guy like Terrell Owens, who seems to spend as much time in the week leading up to his game planning his post-touchdown celebrations as he does practicing the touchdowns themselves, and I think, who the heck is Terrell Owens to do something like that? Sure, he's a great player on a great team, but every time he takes the field it seems as though his sole desire is to turn the game into the T.O. Show, to the point of costing his team a penalty for excessive celebration, if necessary. And yet, not only are his egotistical outbursts not seen as the sad cries for attention they are, but instead they are celebrated, shown repeatedly, made famous, heck, RANKED for effectiveness.

Time was, being humble about success was considered an endearing personality trait. I feel very strongly that how you do it is just as important as what you do. I'm not talking about being low-key and quiet in all things to the point of suppressing your personality - that's not being humble, that's being banal. But in our newly crafted sports world, we seem to have developed a world of individuals, rather than a universe of teams. Immortality comes at the expense of the other 8 or 10 or however many guys are sharing the field or court with you. Now, there are naturally great players, and those people become immortal based upon their accomplishments. That's fine. That's part of the games. What I disagree with is those athletes who try to hasten their status by taking advantage of the other team, and their teammates. If you bust an amazing 80 yard run to win the game, or hit a towering home run to put your team ahead, that is greatness. If you follow either achievement by doing sit-ups on the field or staring in awe as the ball heads out, that's showmanship. And it's also selfish.

This all ties into today's revelations how? Because, in my humble opinion, guys are pushed to doing steroids, at least in part, through the same star-focused, individual-greatness-driven attitude that has fostered this new breed of athlete, one who cares as much or more about the merchandise they sell as the titles they win. You take a guy, really talented, a good player on a good team. But he's not a star. You tell him, hey, we give you this stuff, it'll add to your muscle mass, you'll perform better, your team will benefit, but more important, you could become a star. Only catch is, the stuff will, it is very likely, kill you in the long run. Would Joe Average player take the bargain? I'm betting in the vast majority of examples, the answer is yes.

Modern athletes make a lot of sacrifices to get where they are. It takes years of dedication, a lot of work, a boatload of talent, and a bunch of luck to make it onto a professional roster, no matter what the sport. When they make it there, they are acknowledged as one of the best in the world at what they do. So I can understand the impulse to try and find an easy way to succeed. The average athlete's career lasts something like five years. To steal an old phrase, the natural impulse is to make hay while the sun shines, and do as much as you can while you can, because you never know when it all might end. This is why I've never said a word complaining about the salaries of athletes - these are people who sacrifice a large chunk of their lives for a narrow window of opportunity, and so where salaries, earning money based upon the athletic performance, come in, I have no qualms. Being focused on earning money for you and your family's livelihood is not only not selfish, it's human.

But my understanding ends where the field of play begins. In the course of the game, no matter what game it is, natural talent and athletic ability are what make you or break you. When you try to tip the scales of fortune through things that are not within the boundaries of the game, in whatever form that may be, you have stopped playing the game and started becoming an entertainer. Through their efforts, those who act selfishly are allowing the nature of the games they play to change into something much more akin to professional wrestling's show than they care to admit. As someone who enjoys both wrestling and sports, I see the similarities coming through each time I watch either of them, and it displeases me, because the line of demarcation should be clear and direct. Wrestling is a performance, where the efforts of the individuals involved, through theatrical displays, come together to make for the most entertaining show possible for the fans. Sport is a competition, wherein athletic ability displayed within that battle gives its audience entertainment. When you start more theatrical elements to the world of sport, you begin to change its definition - a gradual evolution which could lead modern sports in a direction I'm sure most of its fans would really rather not see it go.

But above all else, the constant barrage of "me-ism" we see in today's athletes runs the danger of subtlely but directly encouraging more of that same behavior - to the point where long-term health and personal well-being are considered an acceptable sacrifice in the name of short-term success. I look at WWE shows, and see some guys who are pretty clearly on "the gas," but I also see many smaller wrestlers, guys with slight physiques or who are built, well, like human beings. And in the vast majority of cases, the smaller wrestlers put on, by far, the better performances than their bulky counterparts. Freed from the constraints of trying to look "the part" of a pro wrestler, they simply work their butts off to present the best possible show they can. I sometimes wish I could corner the big, burly guys and say, hey, look. Above all else, we watch because we enjoy the product. We really don't care how big you are or how huge your biceps look. We care if you can entertain us through your ability and talent. So please - please - don't sacrifice the rest of your life, thinking that the muscles are all we see. Because in the end, there are a lot of us who care about how you do something just as much as what you do.

In that way, wrestling and "real" sports are already much closer than anyone on the sport side of the fence will ever care to admit. I could take the last five sentences of the previous paragraph and say them to Jason Giambi right now.

What the...

The Metal Gear Solid folks always seem to fit in at least one flat-out "mess with your mind" moment per game (in the case of MGS2, that phrase describes basically the entire plot), and as I have just learned, MGS3 is no exception.

There's a point in the game where, to evade your attackers, you jump off a huge waterfall (think The Fugitive) and end up in a river at the bottom. Then, when you emerge, you run into a man calling himself "The Sorrow," who seems to be a spirit and claims that you will now come face-to-face all those whose lives you have ended. Then, as you walk upstream toward him, with lightning flashing all around and creepy music on the soundtrack, out from the mist walking past you comes, literally, every character you've killed so far in the game, from the biggest of bosses to the lowest of foot soldiers - the game keeps track of 'em all, and trots 'em past you as ghosts. Now, I play the game pretty stealthily, and use my tranquilizer gun more than any other, so my casualty count was pretty low, but still, it was freaky as heck. Even this one guard whose neck I snapped, trying to evade detection, came walking past, screaming about how his neck was in agony. I mean, geez, does that stuff mess with your head - and I mean that in the best possible way.

Kudos to Hideo Kojima and his staff, for yet again broadening the concept of what a game can be. I'm hooked! Again!

Congratulations to the Poltrones!

I am thrilled to be able to announce that on November 23rd, Chris and Kristi Poltrone, two of my dearest friends and some of the best people on the planet Earth, welcomed into their family their first child, Allison Nell Poltrone. She's a happy and healthy 7 lbs., 1 oz. Super-huge congratulations to Chris and Kristi on this wonderful news! Anyone who wants to send their own congrats to the proud parents, you can post 'em here...Chris has the web addy, so he'll either see 'em here, or I can forward them to him!