See the First 12 Minutes of Episode 5 Before Anyone Else! Such a Deal!

And we bring you another installment of our award-winning series, "974 Reasons Why Trained Monkeys Could Run Things Better Than the Current Management Staff of 20th Century Fox."*

#28: They have announced a DVD release of the first four episodes of the new season of "24," hitting stores on January 16th. Retail price? 15 bucks. So, you say, they're bringing it out on DVD before they air? That's an interesting idea...

No, it's much less interesting than that. The new season of the show begins airing on January 14th, which is a Sunday. And they're doing the whole "air four episodes of the show in two nights" thing again, so all of the first four episodes of the new season will air on January 14th and 15th. Then the DVD will be released on the 16th. Ergo, you watch the first four episodes the preceeding two days, then buy them THE VERY NEXT DAY.

This release, apparently, wil cover those individuals who do not have DVR. Or a VCR. Or those who have short-term memory issues, maybe.

But WAIT! In announcing the release, Fox has noted that the DVD will also feature the FIRST 12 MINUTES of episode 5, and so YOU CAN SEE THOSE 12 MINUTES BEFORE ANYONE ELSE! Well, hold me back!

Seriously, Fox? I love "24." It's one of my favorite shows. I think Jack Bauer is just a step or two below "god" status. And even *I* would never consider buying into this cheap a promotional tactic.

Next time on "974 Reasons Why Trained Monkeys Could Run Things Better Than the Current Management Staff of 20th Century Fox," a discussion of the strategy behind releasing "Borat" in only 800 theatres its opening weekend.


*Recent installments have covered such topics as the O.J. Simpson special and the Fox News Channel. And apologies to Keith Olbermann for adapting one of his bits for this post.