Royal Rumble '90

Another year has passed us by. We are now into a decade that has at least two “9”s in EACH of its years. Warren Beatty would make “Dick Tracy,” and in turn become Madonna Lover #478 out of 4,000. The world was still cheering the fall of the Berlin Wall, because now Pink Floyd had one wicked cool place to hold a concert. At the beginning of the year, almost no one in the U.S. knew who Saddam Hussein was, but by its end, Calvin (of “and Hobbes” fame) would be peeing on him on bumper stickers nationwide. And, in Orlando, Florida, it was time once again to Rumble.

Royal Rumble 1990
Orlando, Florida
1/21/1990

I kinda miss Vince McMahon’s overdramatic job of announcing all 30 entrants. Imagine him saying every name with the growly intensity that he now uses to say “You’re Fired” and you get the idea.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura. Yes, Schiavone had a WWF job for a while there, proving that lack of talent was not a disqualifying offense as an announcer in either of the top two wrestling organizations in the country. I’m a little amazed that the legally paranoid WWE Video department allowed Jesse’s intro to stand unedited, as he’s decked out head-to-toe in Mickey Mouse paraphernalia, and I KNOW that Disney is a lawsuit-happy bunch.

Opening Match: The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Bushwhackers
Oh, sweet Rougeau Brothers’ entrance theme, seduce me with your song. It’s intact and unedited, thank goodness. This was, essentially, the Rougeaus’ swan song as a team in the WWF, as I don’t think they made another appearance after this. Jacques even has a beard, ruining the preppy aspect of their gimmick. Big pop for the Bushwhackers. Sigh. Lots of stalling in this one, as I’m getting the distinct impression that the Rougeaus are not really motivated, and the Whackers are accomplished stalling artists. Lots of crowd heat for everything, though. The usual Whacker offense (kicks, punches, bites, etc.) fills this one. Luke becomes Face In Trouble and gets beat on for quite a while until a Jacques splash hits knees. Hot tag Butch, House Afire (with the Rougeaus overselling EVERYTHING), but Jimmy Hart breaks up the Whackers’ finisher, the Battering Ram (easily the lamest tag team finisher of all time…one guy holds the other guy’s head, and they run at half speed into an opponent, who sells it like he’s been hit with a cannonball). The Rougeaus save their manager but leave themselves open for another Battering Ram and the Whackers win clean. Crowd was insanely hot for the match, but I really am NOT a Bushwhackers fan. Ah well.

Mean Gene interviews Ted DiBiase, and because of last year’s shenanigans, there’s extra security at the number drawing. Ted, apparently, had Virgil draw his number. The result: Ted has #1. The WWF: For over 50 years, the revolutionary force in dramatic irony.

“The Genius” Lanny Poffo vs. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake
Poffo is Randy Savage’s brother, though a bigger contrast between two siblings I don’t think you’ll ever find. Poffo is a very good talent in his own right, often credited with inventing the moonsault. His mannerisms are more…well…effeminate than Randy’s, though. Here, his gimmick is that he claims to be really smart and writes poetry. He reads a selection about Beefcake before the match, and although it’s by no means obtuse, he still confuses the hell out of Schiavone. Ah well, a game of Tic Tac Toe that could probably confuse the hell out of Schiavone. This match is essentially a set-up for a WrestleMania feud, though not between these two, as you’ll see. Another stall-o-rama to begin, as Poffo prances and draws homophobic heat, with little in the way of actual wrestling going on. Beefcake overpowers him when they do lock up. So Poffo runs away. That’s pretty much the whole match. Poffo does finally get some offense in, but quickly gets caught coming off the top rope. Beefcake locks in the sleeper, but Poffo counters it and the ref gets bumped (one of the more convincing ones in history, as Hebner hits HARD on the floor). Beefcake locks in the sleeper again while the ref’s unconscious and Poffo’s out. So Beefcake grabs some scissors and starts cutting away on Poffo’s locks until Mr. Perfect, Poffo’s running buddy, comes out to put a stop to it. Beefer takes a few shots to the gut from a chair as the bell rings for a no contest. The match wasn’t anything special, just a backdrop to set up a match at Mania between Perfect and Beefcake, which saw Brutus end Perfect’s win streak and Poffo lose some more hair.

Sean Mooney interviews the Heenan family. One of them is gonna win the Royal Rumble, you hear? Mooney, the sh*t-stirrer that he is, gets everyone bickering with each other before the segment ends.

WrestleMania VI promo. No matches or anything, just day and place. Hmm, I wonder what kind of big match they could put together to fill the SkyDome in Toronto…

Submission Match: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. “Rugged” Ronnie Garvin
Here we go. The storyline: Garvin beat the Hammer one week. Valentine then challenged him to a career-ending match in retribution, which Valentine cheated to win. Garvin then got a job as a referee, only officiating the Hammer’s matches and making sure he lost. Valentine, thus, asked for Garvin to be reinstated out of frustration. Meanwhile, after an “ankle injury,” Valentine started wearing a brace on his leg, which, purely out of coincidence, made his Figure Four Leg Lock submission hold that much more painful. Not long before this match, Garvin claimed he, too, had “suffered an injury,” and started wearing a brace on his leg, too, though it didn’t seem to help HIS finisher, the Reverse Figure Four (known nowadays as the Sharpshooter), so why he wore it was still a mystery. Okay, prologue done, on with the match. The crowd really isn’t into it at first, as neither guy is really over, but that’s okay, as Garvin and Valentine do their best to get them into it. How? SHEER BRUTALITY. Years before Chris Benoit made his debut on the national stage, here are two guys chopping the HELL out each other. I mean, Garvin lays one in and Jesse says, “That one echoed!” And he’s NOT LYING. They just beat each other mercilessly in there. Lots of spots where both guys go for pinfalls, to no effect, as in the WWF a submission-only match hadn’t really been done before and we have to emphasize the stip. Valentine finally gets Garvin down and puts on the Figure Four…and Garvin smiles and makes faces at him. The reason behind his brace becomes apparent: It blocks the effect of the Figure Four. Valentine tries a hanging backbreaker instead, but can’t get the submission. They continue chopping each other’s chests into hamburger until Garvin locks on an Indian Death Lock, but Valentine makes the ropes. More vicious brawling. They collide in mid-ring, with Garvin landing right by Jimmy Hart…who proceeds to take off Garvin’s brace. Valentine IMMEDIATELY locks on the Figure Four, and this time, Garvin’s feeling it. Garvin fights it and finally turns it over, so Valentine has to grab the ropes to break it up. Valentine keeps working on the injured leg, but Garvin avoids the Figure Four. Valentine, for perhaps the first time in his career, decides to head up to the top…and, of course, gets caught and slammed. With Valentine prone, Garvin quickly falls down and takes off Valentine’s brace, too, so it’s all equal. They exchange blows again, and Valentine ends up tied in the ropes. Garvin grabs Valentine’s brace, then drags Jimmy Hart into the ring, drawing a big pop. Valentine frees himself and grabs Garvin’s brace, but Garvin sees him coming and just completely KOs Valentine with the brace. Garvin locks on the Reverse Figure Four and finally Valentine gives it up. A little slow-paced by today’s standards, but it told a great story and for sheer hard-hitting action, it’s pretty revolutionary. Sadly, neither participant would gain any momentum from this match, as Garvin never made another WWF PPV appearance, and Valentine would get saddled with Honky Tonk in the ill-fated Rhythm and Blues tag team. Sigh.

BTW, one last note: Jesse tries to cover for Valentine by saying he never saw him submit. Yet more evidence why the advent of the tap out in wrestling was a GOOD THING. See, he tapped. We don’t have to go by the referee’s word that he gave up, everyone can see it. Heels can’t wuss out and say they got screwed by a referee anymore. So there.

Mean Gene interviews Mr. Perfect. Brutus got what he had coming, and he’s gonna win the Royal Rumble, doncha know. He also reveals that he drew #30, “the perfect number.” Welcome to the curse, Curt.

The Brother Love Show: Special guests, Sapphire and Sensational Queen Sherri
Brother Love is a heel interviewer (Bruce Pritchard) who’s playing a red-faced televangelist without ever actually saying the word “God.” Or “Bible” - it’s “the Book of Love.” He’s really annoying, but draws good heat. Sapphire is the manager of Dusty Rhodes (and yes, she’s an African American woman, continuing the WWF’s lovely history of NEVER resorting to racial stereotypes), Sherri is the manager of the now-royal Randy “Macho King” Savage. Rhodes and Savage were not feuding at this point, but we can make a few logical leaps and assume that they WILL be feuding by the time this interview is over. The “F” of “WWF” gets muted from Love’s pre-interview rant. Sherri comes out first, and the two of them fawn all over each other before mocking Sapphire. She comes out to Dusty’s music (again, previous legal entanglements must have been settled, as Dusty’s previously-edited theme is played it its original…uh…glory). Love and Sherri keep knocking both Dusty and Sapphire, never letting her even speak. Finally, Sapphire has had enough and slaps Sherri, which draws out Savage, which draws out Rhodes, which leads to a brawl, which leads to a feud, which leads to a mixed tag team match at WrestleMania. We could happily have avoided that last part. Once Savage leaves, Brother Love, ever the perceptive genius, decides to rant at Dusty post-interview, then acts surprised when he gets the snot beaten out of him.

Sean Mooney interviews “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan. He trumpets how America’s the land of the free and stuff. Brings to mind my favorite moment of Jim Duggan Hypocrisy…at WrestleMania III, he stopped Nikolai Volkoff from singing the Russian National Anthem, because “This is the land of the free!” Let the logic of that statement sit on your head for a bit.

The Big Boss Man (w/ Slick) vs. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan
Ah, our first music edit of the show, as apparently Slick’s entrance music, “Jive Soul Bro,” is now out of copyright, as it’s edited out and replaced with the Boss Man’s 1998 music, with Howard Finkel overdubbing his intro. Duggan has no music at this point, so no problems there. Anyway, there’s no feud or anything here, just two guys fighting to fill time. Not a technical masterpiece by any means, just a brawl, but the crowd is up for it. Boss Man had dropped a lot of weight by this point and ended up turning face by the time WrestleMania rolled around. He even hits an enzuigiri to the head, which is an amazing feat of agility for a man that size. Funny moment: Tony rants about Boss Man carrying the nightstick to the ring, and Jesse asks, “Well, why does Duggan bring a 2x4?” And Tony really doesn’t have a response. Game, set, match. Boss Man controls for most of the match, which REALLY slows down in the middle sections with a bunch of boring restholds. Duggan finally brawls back and clotheslines Boss Man out of the ring. More brawling. Boss Man tries a top rope splash, and of course misses. Miscommunication leads to Slick getting clobbered by Boss Man, but Boss Man clobbers Duggan with the nightstick. Unfortunately for Boss Man, referee Joey Marella remembered his contacts that day and sees it for the DQ. Duggan nails both Boss Man and Slick with the 2x4 post-match. Nothing special.

WrestleMania VI promo. Did you happen to know it’s in the SkyDome?

Pre-Rumble Promos! Dino Bravo and Earthquake are gonna win! Demolition is gonna win! Bad News is gonna win! Dusty Rhodes is gonna win! The Rockers are gonna win! Hercules is gonna win (though he seems to think it’s called the “Rumble Royal”)! The Model is gonna win! Tito Santana is gonna win! The Superfly is gonna win! Akeem is gonna win! The Warrior is gonna win! Man, Hellwig’s promos NEVER made any sense. He’s also wearing red and yellow face paint, and deliberately calls out Hulk Hogan…hmm…

Tony and Jesse talk about the Rumble and stuff.

MORE Pre-Rumble Promos! Macho King is gonna win! The Powers of Pain are gonna win! Jake “The Snake” is gonna win! The Harts are gonna win! Honky is gonna win! Hulk Hogan is gonna win! Hogan’s interviews made just SLIGHTLY more sense. Hogan also mentions the Warrior…what could all this MEAN? And we have to edit “F” out of his promo a few times. The letter, not the swear word.

The Royal Rumble
The Fink runs down the rules. Intervals are still at 2 minutes.

First Two Entrants: 1. “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase, 2. Koko B. Ware
The crowd’s reaction to DiBiase is great: Cheers when they announce he’s drawn #1, followed by the usual boos. Koko’s theme music is edited out, replaced with his song “Piledriver” from the second WWF album. It’s annoying, but even more so when you watch the next…ah well, we’ll deal with that later. Ted jumps Koko right away, getting an early advantage. Koko finally comes back, but stupidly charges at DiBiase on the ropes and Ted backdrops him out for the elimination. DiBiase puts a finger up: 1 down, 28 to go.

#3. Marty Jannetty
The half of the Rockers who didn’t become a legend gets jumped coming in, but quickly mounts a comeback. DiBiase and Jannetty have an excellent sequence, climaxing with Jannetty trying for a cross body while DiBiase is on the ropes…and he drops out of the way, sending Jannetty flying over the top to the floor. 2 down, 27 to go.

#4. Jake “The Snake” Roberts
Something tells me Jake’ll last longer. Jake and Ted have the big feud at this point, which had literally been going on since the previous year’s WrestleMania - almost a year. DiBiase cuts Jake off coming in and they brawl on the floor. For the record, Virgil is still out there, as managers are allowed at ringside this year. Jake runs DiBiase into the post, and back into the ring they go, with doing a mini-match with amazing crowd heat. Jake tries for the DDT a couple of times, to no avail.

#5. “Macho King” Randy Savage
Savage attacks Roberts right away, and DiBiase and Savage team up, with Ted promising Savage money with every blow. Two minutes of Jake getting his *ss handed to him follow. They tie Jake in the ropes and beat on him some more…

#6. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
Storming the ring like a maniac (heck, the “like a” part of that may be unnecessary), Roddy beats on the heels and releases Jake as the crowd goes crazy. We pair off, Jake/Ted and Piper/Savage. The crowd heat is unreal for this segment. Piper and Savage trade near-eliminations with each other as DiBiase beats on Jake.

#7. The Warlord
Warlord steps in and, amazingly, does not immediately get eliminated like last year. Go figure. Tony calls Warlord one of the “Big Boys,” and you can just hear him making a mental note to drill that phrase into the ground for YEARS in WCW. Warlord beats on everybody, then focuses on Piper. Savage and DiBiase try to eliminate Jake, to no avail.

#8. Bret “Hitman” Hart
Big pop for Bret, who helps turn the tide for the faces. He takes on Warlord in an interesting battle, and by “interesting,” I mean, “a match-up between perhaps the single greatest wrestler ever and one of the worst.” DiBiase and Savage continue to make “dismantling Jake Roberts” their pet project while Roddy and Bret double clothesline the Warlord.

#9. Bad News Brown
Bad News attacks Bret Hart, rekindling the feud which turned Bret face in 1988. Jake sets DiBiase up for the DDT, but Savage surprises Jake with a clothesline and eliminates him. Ted is very thankful, natch. A big shot from Piper nearly eliminates DiBiase, but Savage saves him.

#10. Dusty Rhodes
Rhodes goes immediately after Savage, who sells like he’s being hit with a ton of bricks. Savage takes a charge at Dusty on the ropes, and that ends as it must, with Savage backdropped over the top and eliminated to a huge pop. So DiBiase has lost his running buddy. Dusty and Piper work over the Warlord for a bit, then everyone pairs off in corners.

#11. Andre the Giant
A bit better luck in the draw this year for Andre. Warlord stupidly attacks Andre right away, and gets nonchalantly tossed out for his troubles. Fuji and Heenan nearly come to blows on the floor over it. Andre starts dominating the ring. Hall of Fame pile-up in the corner as Andre shoulder blocks Piper and Dusty before they come back to wail on him.

#12. The Red Rooster
By this point, he’d dyed a mohawk of hair on the top of his head red to suit the gimmick. And to think, as a kid I loved this guy. To the best of my knowledge, I wasn’t on any drugs at the time, so I’ll ascribe it to something getting in our well water. Bad News almost eliminates Piper, but walks right into a Piper backdrop for the elimination. Bad News then reaches in and pulls Piper out, and they brawl back to the dressing room, setting up their WrestleMania match where Piper would show up half-painted in blackface makeup. Uh, yeah. Dusty almost eliminates DiBiase, but a helpful little push from Virgil saves him.

#13. Ax from Demolition
He gets there just in time to see the Rooster eliminated by Andre, then wails on Andre, as the Demos are feuding with current tag team champs Andre and Haku. Dusty and Bret try to eliminate DiBiase again. Dusty then helps Ax beat on Andre, including tying him in the ropes.

#14. Haku
Haku quickly jumps in to help his partner and beat on Ax. The heels start to dominate in the ring. Dusty mounts a comeback on Haku to rile the crowd. Ax continues to get double teamed by the Colossal Connection.

#15. Smash from Demolition
So we have a mini-match between the Demos and the Connection. Bret AGAIN goes for the elimination of DiBiase, with no luck. Ted’s already surpassed the longevity record by this point. Now Demolition’s trying to eliminate DiBiase until Haku breaks it up.

#16. Akeem
Schiavone points out that the eight men in the ring is the most we’ve had at one time, showing how tightly booked a Rumble this is, with just enough incident to keep the crowd interested while not feeling rushed or anything. Respect for Future Main Eventers: Bret Hart gets eliminated by Dusty Rhodes, and the announcers don’t even notice it for a minute or so. No worries, Bret, this company will certainly treat you with more respect later in your career. Especially in your last match for them. Demolition hits a double clothesline that sends Andre over the top to the floor to a HUGE pop. They almost send Haku out to meet him, but Andre saves him from the floor before leaving. Sadly, this is Andre’s last Rumble before his death in 1993. Everyone pairs off.

#17. “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka
The WWF legend who inspired Mick to become a wrestler, so he has my eternal thanks, even if his interviews are more incomprehensible than the Warrior’s. It takes Jimmy just a couple seconds to hit Akeem with a flying head butt that sends him sprawling to the floor. Dusty and DiBiase brawl with each other while they’re both, literally, on their knees.

#18. Dino Bravo
I think I’ll say this every year, but Bravo makes little impact. Dusty certainly looks winded at this point…who booked him to stay in there this long? Demolition tries to toss DiBiase AGAIN, but he again hangs on. He’s been on the apron for half of this match.

#19. The Canadian Earthquake
It’s the same guy, don’t worry, it’s just for some reason at this point in his career he’s from Canada. Do they even HAVE earthquakes in Canada? Seems like the U.S. gets the lion’s share of the natural disasters on this continent. That is grossly unfair. *Stephen Colbert Mode On* Mother Nature, why do you hate America? I’m putting you on notice! *Stephen Colbert Mode Off* Anyway, Quake tosses Dusty right away and then easily tosses Ax when he annoys him. Everyone pairs off again.

#20. Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart
Anvil starts attacking Earthquake right away, leading to a dogpile in the corner where everyone in the ring who’s not Dino Bravo ganging up on Earthquake and eliminating him. That sets the tone for pretty much every big man who ever enters the Rumble, meaning that, with one exception, no big guy ever wins.

#21. The Ultimate Warrior
Crowd goes all ape-excrement for Warrior. Warrior and Bravo have a feud, so of course Warrior attacks him first, and of course Warrior eliminates him first. Warrior settles down into beating up on everybody. Warrior and Anvil beat up on poor DiBiase some more.

#22. “The Model” Rick Martel
The classic Rick Martel lapel pin, “Yes, I Am a Model,” is absent. Martel’s about a year into his heel run and is still basically establishing himself, showcasing the relatively lax pace of WWF storytelling at this point. Haku backdrops Smash to the apron, then a big thrust kick finally eliminates him for good. Martel gets clotheslined to the apron but hangs in there.

#23. Tito Santana
Santana and Martel are still feuding over their breakup, so they start fighting right away. Both announcers are giving DiBiase props for his longevity as Neidhart and Snuka try to eliminate him, with Virgil again saving the day.

#24. The Honky Tonk Man
Warrior is right there to greet his old nemesis, though calling Honky a “nemesis” would imply that Honky at some point landed an offensive move on the Warrior, which to the best of my knowledge is not the case. Haku and the Warrior team up to eliminate Neidhart. DiBiase tries to whip the Warrior into the ropes, but it’s reversed and a simple clothesline FINALLY eliminates DiBiase to a huge pop. Ted’s new longevity record: 45 minutes.

#25. Hulk Hogan
Hogan’s WWF champ at this point, and he tosses Snuka as a warm greeting. Haku gets a similar housewarming gift, and he’s gone from a big boot. Hogan hasn’t even bothered to remove his shirt yet. He finally gets around to it as Martel and the Warrior team up to eliminate Santana. Ring is emptying quite quickly…I wonder what they’ve got in mind?

#26. Shawn Michaels
Still just “the other half of the Rockers.” Hogan casually tosses the Honky Tonk Man. Respect for Future Main Eventers: Shawn is eliminated by the Warrior in 10 seconds. No worries, Shawn, I’m sure you have a bright future ahead of you. Just keep smiling. Then the Warrior dramatically tosses Martel and that leaves…

Oh.

OH.

OOOOOOH.

When Tony says, “There is not a person sitting down,” he’s not kidding - the ENTIRE ARENA is on its feet at just the IDEA of this match-up. If you listen closely, you can hear Vince McMahon already counting the millions to be made in the back. Hogan and the Warrior trade shoulder blocks, do a criss cross, then hit a double clothesline that knocks them both out. Before anyone can get up, the countdown starts. That’s it, nothing more to see here, folks, just a preview of coming attractions.

#27. The Barbarian
Barbarian looks as eager as a sumo wrestler at a buffet, with the WWF’s two top draws basically served to him on a silver platter. You can almost sense that he knows he’ll never get this chance again, in any match, ever. Enjoy it while you can, dude, you’ll be half of the Headshrinkers in just a few years’ time. Barbarian dominates both the mega-faces. Suddenly, without a count and way before 2 minutes is up…

#28. “Ravishing” Rick Rude
Rude comes in early, but the refs don’t seem to make a big fuss about it. He just wants a taste of the scraps left at the main eventing table, it seems. Barbarian and Rude have their way with both guys, and nearly have Hogan eliminated until Warrior saves the day for no good reason. Then, Rude and Barbarian turn their attention to the Warrior, and just as they’re about to tip him out, Hogan comes up with a big clothesline that hits both heels AND sends the Warrior to the floor. Ah, Hulk, you always were such a considerate sort. Warrior returns to the ring and lays out both heels after his elimination, just ‘cuz he’s crazy.

#29. Hercules
Herc’s face turn was going nowhere at this point. It becomes a tag team match, Herc and Hogan vs. Rude and the Barbarian. Crowd dies out a little bit after Warrior’s exit, but Hogan’s still in there so they’re still awake.

#30. Mr. Perfect
Hogan and Perfect have the feud at this point, after Perfect smashed the WWF Title on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Fun trivia: That belt would eventually get recycled into the Hardcore Title in 1998. Perfect beats on Hogan and Hercules sends Barbarian to the floor, which means we already have…

The Final Four: Hulk Hogan, “Ravishing” Rick Rude, Hercules and Mr. Perfect
Time to get sad: Everyone in the ring who is not Hogan is dead. A Perfect dropkick and a Rude clothesline quickly eliminate Hercules, leaving Hogan 2 on 1. They double-team him, then do the old “I hold him and you run and hit him” trick, which, shockingly, backfires and sends Perfect to the apron. Perfect, trying to get back in, accidentally pulls the top rope down as Rude is hitting it, and Rude spills to the floor, eliminated. Whoopsy. So we’re down to two. Perfect gets the upper hand and hits the Perfect Plex, which is pretty silly in a Rumble, but Hogan kicks out and I think you can all guess what happens from here. Does Hogan:

A. Fight valiantly and win with a new and exciting set of moves?
B. Try hard but ultimately succumb to his opponent’s effort?
C. Kick out, puff his cheeks like a chipmunk, take three punches, start shaking his head like a wet dog, point at his opponent, block a fourth punch, hit him a few times, deliver a big boot, then go on to win?

If you said C., congratulations, you have watched a Hogan match, which means you’ve seen EVERY MATCH HOGAN HAS EVER BEEN IN.

Anyway, Hogan beats Perfect up (slight variation in routine: Perfect gets to take his “slingshot into the post” spot) and tosses him out easily to win the 1990 Rumble. Formulaic ending aside, this was an excellently booked Rumble which pretty much set the pattern for most every Rumble to come.

THOUGHTS:
Hey, a little side trivia: guess who was originally booked to win this Rumble? That’s right, Perfect. Hey, guess who threw a temper tantrum and said that a small guy like Perfect should NEVER beat him in so big a match? That’s right, Hogan. So, guess who got the ending changed for their benefit? That’s right, Hogan. Hey, guess whose guts I hate? That’s right, Hogan. Thanks to this Rumble, any semblance of the idea that the Rumble could be used to put over up-and-coming-midcarders was gone, as was the idea that “anyone could win.” From now on the Rumble was exclusively the domain of the main eventers or guy we were grooming for the main event. Not that this was a bad thing, necessarily, it just meant a massive change in the focus of the event, and as a result made the match a little more predictable than it was before.

But, regardless, the Rumble itself is very entertaining, and the Garvin/Valentine match is just a bruising battle, so this is a fun event. A few more musical edits than in previous releases, but nothing too galling. I am really digging the overall quality of this set so far.

Up next: Rumble ‘91! We’re about to see the first wrestling boom die before our eyes!