Answering Mandy's Sex Quiz

Ooh, surveys! I like surveys! Let's see what this one's about...

1. Would you be in control?
Um, no, I'm rarely in control of anything...

2. Would you let me pull your hair?
Uh, sure, you can pull it if you want to...where are we going with this?...

3. Would you whisper in my ear?
Ooh, are we playing “Telephone?”

4. Would you talk dirty to me?
Um, sure...soot, filth, dirt, garbage, Republican convention. Okay, I went too far on that last one.

5. Would you kiss me with a little tongue or a lot of tongue?
I'd kiss you either way, I don't discriminate based upon tongue size.

6. Would you say my name?
Sure. Mandy. Hello, Mandy. Nice to see you, Mandy.

7. Would you go down on me?
Thanks, I prefer to stand.

8. Would you let me give you a hickie?
Sure. Where do I get one for you?

9. How many rounds would we go?
What, we're boxing? Is that it? Um, I'm pretty much a lightweight in the ring, I'm sure you'd knock me out in the first.

10. What would you wanna do afterwards?
After WHAT? Our boxing match? Or maybe that’s two words…After Wards…Montgomery Ward’s? We’re shopping, too? Well, after Ward’s we could go down to the Food Court and grab some Magic Wok, I guess…

11. Would you take off all your clothes then take mine off slowly?
OH, I get it…we're swimming. What kind of swimming pool has a boxing ring and a mall next to it? Besides, we can’t swim, we just had Magic Wok. And no, I assume that you can take off your own clothes, you don't need any help from me.

12. Would you lick and bite me all over?
Or, wait, maybe this is 20 Questions...uh, are you a Tootsie Roll Pop?

13. Would you like to play or get straight to the point?
Play, though only if I get to pick the game. Yahtzee?

14. Would you want me to take my time?
Of course. You can't have any of my time. It's MINE.

15. How freaky are you, 1 - 10?
Depends upon the time of day. I'm UBER freaky-looking first thing in the morning, lemme tell you.

16. Would you want me to go fast or slow?
Slow in the city, fast on the highway.

17. Where would you wanna "do it"?
Do "it"? On EBay, duh.

18. Would you be loud or quiet?
I'm told I'm always loud.

19. Would you mind if I liked you?
Last I checked, you did. Ain't we buds? Now I'm sad...

20. Would you date me?
WHOA, dude, just a second ago you didn't like me and now you wanna go steady? I don't think I like where this is going.

21. Would you do it today?
Today? Sure, I like Matt Lauer and Meredith Veire...Veir...woman on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

22. Would you do it tomorrow?
Um, okay...

TOMORROW, TOMORROW, I LOVE YOU, TOMORROW, YOU'RE ONLY A DAAAAAAAAAY AAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!

You know I'd only do that for you, Mandy. :)

-Jeff