Did you hear the one about the gay cowboys?...

“Yeah, I’m gonna see all the best pictures nominees. Except for that f*ggot movie. They can go f*ck themselves for all I care.”

A middle-aged guy at work said that during my shift on Wednesday. And he wasn’t saying it quietly, either. Nope, he proclaimed it, in a loud conversational voice, while looking directly at myself and one of my co-workers. My co-worker just kinda laughed it off. I didn’t. I was deeply angered and offended by it. But, I was at work, and any comment in return would probably cost me my job. So I simply seethed in silence until they walked into their theatre.

This was not the first, nor will it be the last, example of people deriding “Brokeback Mountain” because of its theme. We’ve heard it non-stop at the theatre ever since we started carrying it last week. And now that the film has been nominated for 8 Academy Awards (and in my mind, is the front-runner to win the statue for Best Picture come March 5th), the hate will intensify. People will continue to use the movie as an outlet for their hatred and prejudice. But it’s not just those who are morons who are getting on my nerves. I believe that others are using the movie, too - in a different way.

Heather and I had a conversation on Monday about the increasing number of jokes being told about “Brokeback.” To my mind, I haven’t seen this many jabs and one-liners aimed at a single subject since Dan Quayle decided “potato” needed an extra e. I mean, they’re everywhere. Leno, Letterman, comedians, humor writers, sports talk shows, you name it. I have heard about how the Marlboro Man plus PMS equals Brokeback Mountain. I have heard of how a feuding player and coach made up by going to see “Brokeback Mountain.”

Heather’s take on it was relatively simple. She felt that the jabs, by and large, were not doing the movie any harm, and in fact were helping it by increasing its visibility and cementing its place in the American consciousness. I cannot disagree with this assessment, but I think that only views one side of the effects - what this means to the movie itself. What these jokes mean to people, however, is another matter.

Your average, garden variety bigot isn’t gonna care about what they say and who they say it to. The *sshole quoted at the top of this article is an example of that. These kind of morons are merely continuing their barbaric, loutish behavior and hanging “I’m a d!ckwad!” signs around their neck for all to see. That’s what makes America the great country it is - freedom of speech means that we know EXACTLY who the biggest jerks are, because they get to say whatever they want, and they usually do.

But it seems to me that the kind of folks I hear these jokes from are often another matter. They’re usually good-hearted, nice folks, who often see themselves as progressive, understanding, tolerant. They’re open-minded, and they don’t have anything against gay people. They just tell the jokes because they’re an easy laugh.

Hey, as someone who chuckled at the “Keep It Gay” musical number during “The Producers,” I’m hardly one to hold myself to a higher standard. But I firmly believe that any subject matter can be made funny if one takes the right attitude to the material. When “Family Guy” did the gag about Peter and his barbershop quartet singing to a guy that he had AIDS, I was on the floor. But the joke there was not that someone had AIDS - the joke was that Peter and company were so oblivious to the fact that this approach was horrifically inappropriate.

The difference in many of these jokes lies in the fact that often their tellers seem to be using them as an outlet, a release valve, for something inside them they may not have fully addressed. An unspoken, maybe even latent, prejudice, which this movie and these jokes provide a vent for. Homophobia is alive and well, folks, and the reaction to this movie is a prime example of that. Do you know how many heterosexual men have stated to me how they will not watch the movie? That, sight unseen, they refuse to even consider the possibility? Heck, just this afternoon on the Dan Patrick show, I heard a semi-serious speculation about how if you see the film once, or even twice, that would be okay, but if you saw it more than that, well…

Well, what? You’ll catch gay? Do these people honestly still think that homosexuality is some kind of disease or disorder that constant exposure to will somehow change someone’s orientation? See, therein lies the problem here - this film has now become a buzzword in the mind of many to supplant “gay,” and allows them to express things that they would not feel comfortable expressing in any other context. Deriding homosexuality in public is no longer acceptable, socially. But deriding a MOVIE, well, that’s safe! It’s just a movie, after all! So, I can tell jokes and chastise it and get away with it. Imagine the speculation cited in the last sentence of the previous paragraph, but instead of “seeing the film” substitute “hanging out with a gay man” and see how socially acceptable you’d find THAT conversation. It wouldn’t have made the airwaves, lemme tell ya.

Look - I believe a sense of humor is the most important thing anyone can have. Finding humor in life’s little foibles is what gets us through this silly little thing called life. But humor can also sting. Sometimes a little sting is a good thing. But a lot of little stings add up pretty damn quick. So to everyone out there who are telling “Brokeback” jokes, I will merely ask that before you tell another one, ask yourself why you find it funny. If you can live with the answer, then by all means, fire away. But if it causes you to take a second look at yourself, maybe you should hold back on the guffaws.

Oh, and get out and see “Brokeback Mountain.” It’s an excellent movie. Heck, I’m going again myself before the Oscars hit. Anyone wanna come along?