A Holiday Gripe

(Note: The following article was inspired by both a conversation with Abby last night, and this entry in her blog posted this week. The section on public vs. private prayer is also inspired by an op-ed piece written by Roger Ebert last year, which I would also link to, but I can’t find it anywhere.)

To our Christian friends who are trying to proclaim that the use of “Happy Holidays” is part of a vast conspiracy to eliminate Christmas…please stop.

The fact that we have a few extremist Christians claiming religious persecution is so deliciously ironic that it should be served on crackers at cocktail parties. I mean, jeepers, six million Jewish people just disappear off the face of the Earth between 1941 and 1945, all because of their religious beliefs. Nowadays, some folks get their panties in a bunch because a phrase mentioning their holiday is not the default greeting at Target. Somehow, it just doesn’t equate.

First of all, “Happy Holidays” has been in use for years. Long before it had any connotations of being a relatively “religion-neutral” phrase, in my world the term was primarily used to refer to both Christmas and New Years - back in the days when us small-minded folks didn’t even stop to consider the fact that there were many peeps around the world who didn’t take Christ as their savior. “Season’s Greetings” was used much the same way. So the argument can’t be against the phrase, but rather the context which it’s being used in, or rather, the phrase it is being used in place of.

Secondly, I’m pretty sure these folks haven’t even tried to consider that “Happy Holidays” isn’t excluding their beliefs at all, nor minimizing them. The phrase is being used in an effort to acknowledge the validity and value of the holidays celebrated by many different belief structures, which Christianity is quite obviously one of. It’s not shutting you out, it’s letting other folks in. I haven’t heard anyone say “Happy Holidays, Unless You Celebrate Christmas” yet.

When a stranger says “Merry Christmas” to me, I smile and nod and thank them. I do not turn a cold shoulder and sneer at their wish. I know they mean no harm. I just think that if they took a little time and gave a little thought to what they were saying, they would realize that what they are being just a little bit presumptuous and exclusionary. By assuming that I am Christian and therefore open to the greeting which they give, they are, in some small way, assuming that their beliefs are somehow more valid than others.

The same difference can be drawn between private and public prayer, another hot-button issue in our society. Private prayer is between yourself and God, Allah, Buddha, Michael Eisner, or whatever you choose to worship, if you choose to worship anything. It’s a personal issue, and does not presume that others would care to join you. Public prayer, however, is a different matter. It is designed not only to bring together people who share a common belief, but by proxy, exclude those who choose not to participate in it. Even when preceded by a quick “anyone who doesn’t wanna take part can step out” to cover their proverbial backside, initiating such an event must mean that one readily believes that most of those present share the same basic belief structure, otherwise they’d simply pray by themselves. At some level, the very act of initiating a common prayer can be read as an act of arrogance.

Same basic concept here. And now the arrogance is confounded by the stubborn refusal of a few Christians out on the lunatic fringe refusing to see the use of a innocuous phrase like “Happy Holidays” as anything but an outright affront to what they believe. By gum, you better say “Merry Christmas” or I’ll never shop at your store again! Okay, then what? If I don’t somehow acknowledge Easter when that rolls around, you’ll skip town, too? What about All Saints Day? That one doesn’t get much play nowadays! Shall we add that one to the canon? Take it to its logical extreme, and these folks are basically insisting we tailor our speech to suit their beliefs alone. “Melting Pot” be damned, I guess.

Listen folks, I think we’re losing sight of a lot of things, here. Let us not forget what this wondrous season is truly about: money. Yep, the almighty dollar. A mass-marketed, corporately driven merry-go-round of homogenized cheer and wonderment designed to separate as many of us from as many of our little green pieces of paper as possible. No matter what the holidays USED to mean in society, to ANYONE, that definition has long since gone the way of the dodo. Heck, as far as I’m concerned, there is no season more American than this one. Oh, sure, Thanksgiving may be about family and brotherhood and togetherness, and the Fourth of July may be about shooting little sticks of nitroglycerine into the sky and watching them go boom, but in the end, this is truly where the heart and soul of a capitalist society lies.

But outright cynicism aside, what allows an Optimistic Pessimist™ like me to relax and enjoy the season is the spirit in which it is intended by the individuals participating in it. For those of us who don‘t have a financial stake in the holidays, the joy comes in giving - showing our love for others by doing something special, to let them know how much they mean by giving a present, baking a cookie, sending a card, or just seeing them and giving them a hug. As someone who gives a lot at this time of year, nothing does my heart gladder than to see someone I care about smile and say thank you, no matter what I did for them - and any season which gives me the chance to do that, and do it often, is a wonderful time, no matter what I do or don’t believe in.

That, truly, is the Reason for the Season: Giving out of love and respect to those who have enriched our lives, and being enriched in return simply through the act of giving. Perhaps the few Christian brethren who seem intent on finding fault in an innocently intended phrase should reflect for a second on the fact that, at some level, saying “Happy Holidays” is giving - giving worth and consideration to those who might not believe exactly what you do. What could be more Christian than that?

As a few great philosophers on a sadly long-lost TV show once opined:

“So, let’s have peace on Earth and cut out all the bull,
Let’s have a holiday season that’s multicultural
If there’s one point we’d like to make with this festive holiday song
It’s that Christmas comes but once a year, so for a few days, for crying out loud,
Can’t we all just get along?”