To Abby

Goodbye to me and you.
Goodbye to the life we knew.
One last long embrace.
Let go and walk on through.

I'm leaving everything behind
for a peace that I can't find.
The ghosts that roam this house
like winter air right through our souls.

And it feels like dying.
It just feels like time to go...

This town is dead to me.
And I can't stop chasing my dreams.
-lyrics from "Night Train" by Bouncing Souls

To my dear friend, Abby.

Life without you will suck.

Well, maybe not suck. But it'll sure be MORE sucky than it was when you were here.

Without you, life will certainly be a lot duller than it is right now. And, given the current levels of dullness in the life of Jeff McGinnis, this seems unfathomable. But so it goes.

And without you, how empty the cities of Toledo and Bowling Green will seem.

You have been my friend for the past five years. In that time, you have been an ear when I needed to talk, a shoulder when I needed to cry, and one of my most enthusiastic boosters when I needed encouragement.

When I was in the dumps, at my lowest point, when the weight of the world was about ready to crush me, your friendship helped dig me out.

When I have seen nothing of value in myself, you have often dragged my self-esteem, kicking and screaming, back into the light.

Your friendship means the world to me, dude.

But, having said all that, I'm also jealous as hell.

Jealous because you have amazing, raw, natural talent - the kind that cannot be taught or learned.

You have natural stage and screen presence. You have an amazing singing voice. Your grace and poise augment your natural beauty, and your winning personality "pops" through everything you do.

In short, you have "it," my friend.

And you have the courage and determination to follow "it." Follow it all the way to L.A., where "it" can take you to the stars.

So yes, life without you may suck. But to know that you went for it - that you took that step and are following the path your dreams and gifts dictate you follow - that makes me happier for you than I can ever say.

There was a moment in an episode of "Taxi," where Alex, the lead cab driver, is talking to Bobby, the actor, as he's about to head for Los Angeles and pursue his dream. Alex says to him, "You know, Bobby, if you're a success out there, we may never see you again."

Then Alex pauses and adds, "Here's hoping we never see you again."

Although I cannot totally echo that statement (I WOULD like to see you again, after all), I agree with the sentiment behind it wholeheartedly. Or, put another way...

"I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place you live is that much more drab and empty that they're gone.

"I guess I just miss my friend."
-The Shawshank Redemption

Goodbye, Abs.