Happy Singles Awareness Day, You Lucky SOBs!

No, I’m not quite THAT bitter. Yet. :) Hope everyone who is in a relationship has a great Valentine’s Day and does something wonderfully romantic with the one you love.

BUT, as a gentle reminder to be considerate of those not quite as lucky as you, here’s a song I performed last Saturday at the Rumble…

“Third Wheel” by Jeff McGinnis

Hugging, Snuggling
You two, just carrying on
Kissing, Missing
The other when they are gone

Giggling, Wiggling
Maybe you’ll be bride and groom
Adoring, Ignoring
The other guy in the room

The love that you feel is so plain to see
I’m flattered you display it in front of me
But all of these feelings are hard to combat
Excuse me, I’ll be over there kicking the cat

You don’t know how it feels
To be a Third Wheel
Just sitting around while your love so ideal
Just keeps on unfolding
While you two are holding
And so I will make this appeal
Lay off when you’re with the Third Wheel

Pressing, Caressing
While I just sit there and grin
Flying, Sighing
Wonder if there’s any gin

Smiling, Beguiling
You know that I’m out of luck
Flirting, De-shirting
Why don’t you just go and…(cough)?

Now don’t get me wrong, I love you, my friends
But all of this cuteness, it just never ends
So for now I’m asking, just please tone it down
Or I might hop the next bus heading outta town

You don’t know how it feels
To be a Third Wheel
Just sitting around while your love so ideal
Just keeps right on trekking
And you two are necking
Now what’s that, oh yeah, my last meal
Just hold it around the Third Wheel

I know, you’re in love
Forever you‘re bound, and that’s great
Always together
It’s clear you are each other’s mate
But since you’re eternal
And always will be side by side
Can’t you just wait ‘til…
You ain’t around the one guy you hang out with who’s had no luck in romance, oh, since the third grade when that one girl said she’d kiss me and it turned out she was fibbing and then everyone was laughing at me ‘til our graduation, to this day, every so often, I will get another phone call from the kid who sat behind me and he’ll say, “remember Julie?” and he’ll just keep right on laughing ‘til I feel like chugging on the cyanide…

Pleading, Needing
Just a time out from your act
Asking, Masking
Just how I want to react

Lying, Dying
While on each other you fawn
Lagging, Gagging
Just as soon as you have gone

So if you’ll extend me this one courtesy
I will do the same if I’m ever lucky
But if you keep going, then I have a plan
What you do with each other, I’ll do with my hand

You don’t know how it feels
To be a Third Wheel
Just sitting around while your love so ideal
Just keeps on displaying
So just watch me playing
And see just how giddy you feel
Remember that there’s a Third
Don’t know how that occurred
Please keep in mind the Third Wheel!

(And BTW, let us all take a moment to celebrate V-Day with THE experts at romance...the Teen Girl Squad! “You’re blonde and you acknowledged my facial stubbery! Will you be my Valentine?”)