The World Doesn't Make Sense Anymore

Let us have a moment of silence, for one of the great long-standing traditions in all of human history has fallen.

Yes, the man who drew #30 ACTUALLY WON THE ROYAL RUMBLE.

Tonight, with his Rumble victory, the Undertaker toppled one of the longest-running-running-gags in the history of wrestling, as in its 20 year history, no one who got the supposed “dream number” has ever actually won the event. The writers of the WWF/WWE have cultivated this creative and ironic comment on the vagaries of chance and the determination of the human spirit to overcome them for nearly a quarter of a century. It became a constant, an island of certainty in an ocean of doubt. The sun will rise, Old Faithful will spout, hope will spring eternal, and #30 always loses the Royal Rumble.

And now all that hard work is for nothing. The failure of 19 men before him to capitalize on being essentially handed the victory, all in the name of constructive metaphor, apparently meant little to the Dead Man, who with one fell swoop not only eliminated Shawn Michaels and won a main event slot at WrestleMania, but made the world just a little darker for the loss of a legendary legacy of ineptitude.

Or, more likely, the writers just said, “Ah, what the hell, let Taker win at 30. Who in the whole world will care? Besides Jeff, of course.”

Eh, either way.

(Question…does this possibly mean that other mighty traditions associated with Rumble events might fall this year as well? Dare I ask…could this foretell that a male creator might actually win BGSU Rumble 2K7 in a little less than two weeks time? Well, there’s only one way to find out, and that’s (cheap plug coming) to BE THERE!)