Words to Live By

"A man's ethical behavior should be based effectively on sympathy, education, and social relationships; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death." - Albert Einstein

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife." - Douglas Adams

"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." - Benjamin Franklin

"I don't believe in predestination, but I do believe that once you get where ever it is you are going, that is where you were going to be." - Morgan Freeman

"I don't think you understand how unattractive hate is." - Harris K. Telemacher, from "L.A. Story"

"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." - Mohammed Ali

"I like not only to be loved, but also to be told that I am loved. I am not sure that you are of the same kind. But the realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave. This is the world of light and speech, and I shall take leave to tell you that you are very dear." - George Eliot (Marion Evans Cross)

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"...people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than for being right." - J.K. Rowling

"It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it." - Jeseph Joubert

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock." - Will Rogers

"If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?" - George Carlin

"Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in." - Alan Alda

"Sports is the toy department of human life." - Howard Cosell

"Doing research on the Web is like using a library assembled piecemeal by pack rats and vandalized nightly." - Roger Ebert

"Home is where they understand you." - Garfield

"I can't jump high, so I jump from high places." - Mick Foley

"In the 20th Century, no movement will be as great as the movement of the line across the paper, the note across the staff, or the idea across the mind." - Freddy, from "Picasso at the Lapin Agile"

"All censorships exist to prevent anyone from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions. All progress is initiated by challenging current conceptions, and executed by supplanting existing institutions. Consequently the first condition of progress is the removal of censorships. There is the whole case against censorships in a nutshell." - George Bernard Shaw

"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." - Groucho Marx

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" - Steven Wright

"Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head." - Carol Burnett

"Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels." - Faith Whittlesey

"To me, tragedy is when I cut my finger...And to me, comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks, "The 2000 Year Old Man"

"To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit." - Steven Hawking

"Siskel's Law: Is this movie as interesting as a documentary of the same actors having lunch?" - Gene Siskel

"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read." - Mark Twain

"I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask 'em where they're going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." - Marianne Williamson

"No one cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance." - Dave Barry

"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues." - Abraham Lincoln

"You don't want to be remembered?" "I don't want them to be TOLD to remember me." - Lola and GK, from "A Prairie Home Companion"

"There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again." - Clint Eastwood

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But, then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness - I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen

"If you're wondering how he eats and breathes, and other science facts,
Just repeat to yourself, 'It's just a show, I should really just relax."
- "Mystery Science Theater 3000" Theme Song

"Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself." - Charlie Chaplin

"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster." - Isaac Asimov

"Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than people with vastly superior talent." - Sophia Loren

"Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So... get on your way." - Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

"Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
-Alfred, Lord Tennyson, "Ulysses"

"May all your stains be large ones." - Jim Mitchell