The Slacker Uprising Tour

It was a political-rally-as-rock-concert. The damnedest thing I've ever seen in my life.

I wasn't even sure I was going be able to go to Toledo to see Michael Moore until this afternoon. Abby had volunteered to reserve tickets for us a few months ago (for which I still have to pay her back) and it was gonna be me, her and Heather heading to the Seagate. Problem number one: until this afternoon, my screwed up body clock kept telling me that the event wasn't until TUESDAY.

So I was convinced that I was going to have to bow out on going, since I just found out that over the weekend, my aunt's father-in-law sadly passed away, and his showing would be tomorrow, right when I thought the show would be. (I never really knew Mr. Shull, only meeting him a couple times in passing, but from what I knew he was a very nice man who loved his family dearly, and stayed a big part of the lives of my aunt and her two children even after her husband tragically passed away 10 years ago. My sincerest condolences to them and his whole family.)

So I'm sure that I won't be able to make it, and hope that Heather will still wanna go with Abby, when I get an e-mail from Heather herself, telling me she's sorry, but she won't be able to go...tonight. Que? A quick check of Michael's website reveals that, indeed, the Tour hits the Seagate tonight. And that's where the day degenerates into a series of phone calls: call to Abby's voice-mail asking her what's going on and informing her of Heather's choice. Call from Abby letting me know that the event had slipped HER mind, too, and telling me to call and see if anyone else wanted the empty seat. Calling a few peeps to see if they're interested. Hearing back from the peeps and finding out they ain't free. Call from Heather asking how I am, and allowing me to ask her if she's sure she ain't going. During that call, call from Abby telling me the tickets are all in place and that Abby's BF Loren is interested in coming if we can't get anyone else. Call back Heather, tell her what's up. Call back Abby, set up meeting time. And then...we drive.

After that fun little series of events, and paying only 4 bucks for parking (a mere bag 'o shells compared to Chicago's rates, but still higher than I paid in Cincy), we were there. I thought we'd see a huge number of protestors there, as has apparently been the norm for the tour, but was greeted with a simple group of three, and they were there, in a bit of comedic brilliance, to PROTEST PROTESTING. Really funny.

We arrived about 15 minutes before Michael came out, but the show had been going on since 8, and we came in at the tail end of Gloria Steinem's speech. Yep, one of the foremothers of modern feminism was there, as Michael Moore's lead-in. What I caught of her speech was informative and interesting, but not exactly polarizing. That would come later. We get seats in the upper left section, and the Seagate isn't completely packed (there are still seats available in either corner of the auditorium), but it's as full as I've ever seen the building.

Finally, the man himself arrives, and it's like Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Rock both come out simultaneously to a crowd of wrestling fans. The place is coming unglued, they are all standing and cheering. A few lone folks remain seated (a group of four Republicans apparently were right in front of us), but for the rest of us, it's long standing ovation time. I don't know what I was expecting from Michael's appearance, in terms of content. I figured a 45-minute or so speech intercut with multi-media or something, given the large screen behind Michael to project things onto. But it was only used twice - once to show a photo of the White House with a UHaul in front of it (Michael offered to pay for the truck himself) and once to show a series of "pro-Bush" campaign ads "attacking" Kerry in the manner of the BS Swift Boat ads. Pretty funny.

The rest of it, though, is pretty much Michael talking, and folks, this is a guy who know how to keep an audience. For Michael's aw-shucks demeanor and look, he's an extremely intelligent and engaging speaker, discussing the importance of the election and how crucial Ohio was. He knew when to go for a dramatic moment, he knew when to make us laugh, he knew how to get people cheering. And we cheered a LOT. In fact, when the night ended, and it turned out to be about 11:15 or so, I was stunned. It sure as hell didn't feel that long.

Now, to be sure, he wasn't alone up there, as there were several "special guests" that came out at random intervals and spoke for about 10 minutes apiece. First was Roseanne Barr, of all people, who proceeded to give a short comedy piece playing an ignorant voter who'd gotten all her news from the Fox News Channel. It was kinda funny, but Roseanne's speaking style has never done it for me, and her joke about how George W. "would NEVER allow terrorists to attack the U.S." did NOT go over at all. But still, she was done before she became bothersome.

Then it was Tom Morello, lead guitarist of Rage Against the Machine, who came out and spoke a little before singing a few songs, the first a Union anthem, the last an anti-war ballad. The crowd clapped and cheered and stomped for him, and that's when I first began to feel this amazing sense of...well, wonder, about what was happening. The crowd had a lot of younger people - T-shirts and jeans everywhere. But there were older folks, too...middle-aged women and men who stomped and clapped along with them, to a guitarist from a band they'd probably never heard of. And when the beautiful ballad ended, they stood as one and gave him a standing ovation. This group of people, this perfect cross-section of society, united in passion, united in purpose. And with a volume that'd knock your socks off.

Last guest speaker was Lance Corporal Abdul Henderson, who if you saw F9/11, you know as the soldier who said that he wouldn't go back to Iraq. He was easily the least polished of all the speakers, which was to be expected, but the crowd still listened with rapt attention as he provided more facts about the war and shared his experiences with us. When he finished, the crowd gave him a standing O as well.

And then, the part I was SURE wouldn't be happening, after the charges in Michigan had been filed. But it did - Michael promised to give free Ramen noodles and/or underwear to any "slackers" who didn't vote in the last election, but would vote in this one. You'll notice when he gives these out, he isn't saying he'd give 'em stuff if they vote for KERRY, only if they just VOTE. Now granted, by implication, he WANTS 'em to vote for Kerry, but his key plea is simple: get out there and vote, and do your part to get others to do the same. Because those in power LOVE it when the public is ambivalent about the political process - it means, more often than not, they keep what they have.

That's Michael's biggest gift, and what he's really doing for this election season - he's making people care again. I wasn't sure that, after the debacle of the 2000 election, the American public would believe enough in the democratic process to get off its keister, get passionate, and get involved. But no matter what you think of him, no matter whether you love him or hate him, Michael has galvanized people. This time, it feels like it MATTERS. This time, people actually CARE, and are getting involved. They're watching the news. They're registering to vote. They believe that they can make a difference.

And no matter what your political beliefs may be, that cannot be a bad thing.

P.S. - I really hoped Michael would hang out afterward, so that I could get an autograph. Not for me, for a special friend of mine, who still cannot be convinced that it's crucial that she get out on the 2nd. How I would have loved to come back and presented a piece of paper which simply said, "To Heather - Please Vote! Love, Michael Moore."

;)